This book spoke to the soul at a time my soul needed speaking to. It’s not perfect but it’s close to it, excited to put into my life the small practice Nouwen speaks of. Reaching Out is practical, spiritual, easy and difficult. I feel as Nouwen new so many would need the words in this book. Highly Recommend thank you to my dear friend that recommended this book.

This book was my Advent reading this year, which I took on during a time of personal turmoil, and by the end I was happy I chose it. It is organized in three "Movements": from Loneliness to Solitude, from Hostility to Hospitality, and from Illusion to Prayer. The author gives a few examples of his ideas, some of the personal and others drawn from the stories of other people whether contemporary or from the past. They are not couched in Christian religious doctrine usually, but range from philosophical and psychological observations, in many cases drawn from the writings of other authors. In each of the Movements, he shows how someone can get stuck in ways that do not address the trouble they feel, whether it is loneliness, hostility, or illusion, and how that person can learn how to break out by moving to the other half of each movement. He is careful to say that someone who has gone each of these movements does not eliminate the original trouble they felt, but is better equipped to understand and bring compassion to themselves and others suffering from these spiritual troubles.

For me it was the last of the Movements, focusing on the idea of Hesychasm or the prayer of the heart (what I had heard about as Jesus prayer or a form of centering prayer) that drew me in. This section gave me some solid guidance for how to cope with the reminder that none of us is in fact immortal, despite the way we usually behave. The whole book is written from a contemplative point of view, though, so someone who is looking for something like a call to action to right wrongs in the world or for some deep insight into the history of the church might find it less well suited to their needs.

This book was discussed weekly with serious Christian women, so the book was especially meaningful. The three movements are from loneliness to solitude, which means knowing ourselves; from hostility to hospitality; from illusion to prayer. One of the most helpful discussions to me was on hospitality. It can mean recommendation of good books, referral to people with special talents, and bringing the right people together. Mainly, we can offer space with safe boundaries. It was a great review for me to make a list of the people who have been special encouragements to me in my Christian life, personally and through books.

The sections on loneliness are absolute gold. The final chapter of the hospitality section is also very, very good. There's a good deal of meandering in between. Some of it needs to be chewed on for a while, particularly the last section. Another solid Nouwen book.

A few of my favorite quotes:

"Pornography...is intimacy for sale" (25).

Our superficial language of welcoming "is a language that reveals the desire to be close and receptive but that in our society sadly fails to heal the pains of our loneliness, because the real pain is felt where we can hardly allow anyone to enter" (26).

"Friendship and love cannot develop in the form of an anxious clinging to each other. They ask for gentle fearless space in which we can move to and from each other" (30).

"Preachers who reduce mysteries to problems and offer Band-Aid-type solutions are depressing because they avoid the compassionate solidarity out of which healing comes forth" (61).

"When we feel lonely we have such a need to be liked and loved that we are hypersensitive to the many signals in our environment and easily become hostile toward anyone whom we perceive as rejecting us" (102).