This is a tiny book. I wanted to read it quickly. To prove to myself that I am, in fact, a fast reader worthy of my looming stacks of unread books. I couldn’t, though. Reading was like holding a hot cup of coffee with a broken handle. Every few moments I need to set it down, regroup, meditate, then dive back in.

Nouwen has this amazing way of drawing you in with words that seem basic, and then gradually deepening their meaning until they no longer resemble what you first understood them to mean. He uses words like movie directors use characters, developing and evolving them over time. They don’t change, they just…mature. I think of the words he uses here. “Wounds.” “Loneliness.” “Love.”

There’s a lot of loneliness in this book. From his definitions of growing generational loneliness (which, I’d argue, is just as true today as when he wrote it) to his surprisingly painful depiction of loneliness in ministry. He doesn’t offer any simple antidotes for loneliness, which as a pastor, I can say is a huge struggle for me. Who doesn’t want to immediately point out a silver lining in someone’s rainy and depressing day? I sure do.

Instead he paints a picture of hope that doesn’t take the wounds away, but gives them a redemptive touch while we wait for the great Healer to do what He does best. It’s a hopeful book that doesn’t feel removed from real life pains.

For such a small book, I’m bummed that I will 100% need to revisit it often to really get everything out of it. I’m sure this will be a blow to my confidence as a fast and efficient reader. I think that’s alright though.

Very well organized! A lot of ideas to dig into. Sometimes I wish he would delve into some thoughts more- but maybe that’s the work I need to do. It was easy to follow because it was so concise. The issues with people in the 70s seem to be relevant nowadays too. I have been trying to embody some of these ideas in my work as a teacher. Connecting with my own pain so that I can be open to others connecting with it and we can move forward together. A lovely thing!

A short, easy read. The last section of his book was my favorite. He makes the case that we can minister to others from our shared place of brokenness, recognizing our longings and wounds as part of our human condition. He then points out how this differs from spiritual exhibitionism, which I found very insightful.

The first chapter was hard to get through (it felt a little like he was blaming the current generations for the way they were raised/the world they were raised in), but after that, the rest of the book was full of beautiful truth. I really needed to read this right now.

Considering this book was written in 1972, it was interesting how it seemed to accurately diagnose our society today - caught in the present, looking for meaning and purpose, lack of hope, questioning the value of life, doubt in a future that's valuable, and willing to believe anything... :(
A few points I liked....
- Compassion is seeing other peoples' shortcomings also in yourself
- Attitude towards death reveals deeper perceptions of self/sovereignty, there are people for whom living and dying can be hell
- Christian leadership is discipleship to Jesus, self-denial, and service
- "No one can help anyone without getting involved" --> personal concern
- The application question of "How can those who are free lead others to freedom?"
- The Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness, hospitality is the response to loneliness (setting aside the self and sharing pain)
- Christian community shares weaknesses and pains not as complaints but as reminders of God's saving promises
- Ministry can be a witness to the living truth that our suffering will be revealed to us later as ways God is renewing us

Incredibly insightful book for those interested in pursuing pastoral ministry, or even those thinking through Christian leadership. A little outdated context-wise, but his vision for the role of a minister in the modern West is still super relevant.

Love his concept of leading from a place of redeemed woundedness and offering oneself as a source of clarification to others lost in theirs

There are a lot of rich insights in this little book. At some point I want to really reflect on some of the meatier statements.

A short masterpiece. Interestingly, it’s not until the last chapter that Nouwen really addresses the theme suggested by the title. While that can be a little frustrating, the first chapter offers a description of the human condition that’s way ahead of its time: almost 40 years before Charles Taylor published his Secular Age, Henri Nouwen was already identifying the traits of the human condition that would become the hallmarks of postmodernity. Worth reading slowly.

I feel like this book is one I’ll need to read a few times to appreciate the depth of it. I really loved chapter four, Ministry by a Lonely Minister. So simple but deep to minister in such a way that we allow God to use our own suffering to be a place where we can be truly hospitable to a person, and have them feel comfort enough to share their own suffering.

I don’t have any religious belief, yet I found this book worth reading. In a sense everyone has a deep desire to heal others, as this will provide meaning to one’s life and significantly alleviate existential crisis. However, everyone has their own battle to fight, we may not have time to cure others, and even if we did, we often find our act futile. This book addresses many contemporary symptoms we have to deal with such as loneliness, rootlessness, and faithlessness. The key takeaway is that in order to become a healer, one has to cure his or her own wounds, and be authentic about his or her suffering.

Nouwen’s books are quick yet full of insight. Really good read.

Nouwen’s opening chapter, a description of ‘Nuclear Man’, a prototype ‘modern man’, almost made me give up the book entirely. Nuclear Man—to me—sounded like a 1960/70/80’s person (the book was published in 1979) disillusioned with the Cold War and the Super Powers, living from day-to-day in constant fear of complete annihilation. I recognize Nouwen’s Nuclear Man who, ‘has lost naïve faith in the possibilities of technologies and is painfully aware that the same powers that enable man to create new life styles carry the potential for self-destruction.’

He is just not who most Healers will be ministering to today. Rather, now we have an entirely different situation, a generation with strong faith in science and technology. For many, they have even become god(s).

After this first chapter, however, I fell in step with the rest of Nouwen’s ideas/concepts concerning ‘the Wounded Healer’.

Nouwen’s explanation of ‘articulation’ and its importance to being an effective healer was phenomenal. A minister who is able to do that is worth his/her weight in gold! I marked the heck out of those pages, with, “yes, Yes! YES!” thinking all the while of those in my life who were able to unlock doors for me because they could recognize the work of God in the event of my life, those I loved, or elsewhere. This is an invaluable skill.

The critique of the elderly man in the hospital who was dying and the young minister who was trying to minister to him was also invaluable.

The best part of the whole book was the legend from the Talmud concerning the Messiah which I wish I could recount. It is in two parts and each part reveals the great healing which can come from woundedness. Our wounds do not preclude us from helping others; they qualify us if we know how to let them.

Much wisdom!



July 12, 2018: Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my 1st Spiritual Director's death. When I visited her friend and companion, Pat, who cared for RM in the last years of her life (she had advanced MS) Pat asked me go through RM's books and take as many as I wanted. This book was one of the few which I did not already have and knew I would read immediately. Took it to Adoration last week and have greatly enjoyed it so far. Felt like I was sharing it with RM.