Several years ago, when I read the Secret life of Bees I made it a point to read this other book from Sue Monk Kidd. This past month I joined a group of ladies Book club. The hostess of our first gathering had a closet full of books she has marked to read. She gave me a tour of it and when I read aloud the title of this book she told me I could borrow it and return it next month at our next reunion. Thus, being pressured for time, I read it as soon as I could :)

The setting of this book is Egret Island in South Carolina, a mangrove paradise where alligators and egrets are a daily part of the scenery, and where the heroine goes to help her crazed mother recover from a self mutilating agony. However, this heroine, who has a lovely husband, deserts all but her wanton desires to have an affair with a young priest that is more a park ranger than a devout. As fate takes a hand in this drama, everything turns right side up in the end, and the heroine gets cured of everything, including the guilt she has carried all these years of accidentally killing her dad.

The story is charming and nicely set, though the plot is thinly veiled. The heroine seems weak and vacillating and more of a sampler of life than a real committed being. I liked what happens to her though I wondered if she really deserved it. Does that sound strange? It is as if she moves through life guided by the ebb and flow of the tides and has no true internal compass to guide her. Her supposed affair, which she feels so strong about one minute, is so easily let go on the next, and is her marriage and her bonds with her mother. I feel that this character had potential for growth but that somehow it went undeveloped.

The concept that I liked a lot is "Solitude of Being". It is simply that time we all need to be alone in order to grow and listen to our internal voice, and one that so many of us desperately fight not to hear.

There was also a phrase that rang true to me in which the heroine and her brother are "partners in surviving mother" (pg 253). I felt that was a very intuitive phrase in which siblings somehow help each other through childhood that most often is a war field for so many children.

There is also the phrase "Forgiveness was so much harder than being remorseful. I couldn't imagine the terrible surrender it would take (to forgive)" (pg.324). How true this is and so well put.

Lastly a quote from RUMI: "Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they are in each other all along". Hmmmm... How lovely the sentiment.

I loved this book, but reading most of the reviews, it seems like most people hated this book. I do think "The Secret Life of Bees" was better--I enjoyed the characters and storyline in Bees more so than "The Mermaid Chair."

The main character of Jessie drove me crazy sometimes because, as everyone thinks, she could be so selfish sometimes when it came to her mother and her husband. True, it's a little unbelievable Jessie would choose to pretty much ignore her mother's mental state and spend most of her time and energy in love with a monk. But when you think about it, their relationship had been strained for a long time and people can be in denial and choose distraction over reality. In fact, I'm surprised Nelle and Jessie didn't get into more fights after their long estranged relationship. I didn't feel like Hepzibah's character added anything substantial to the ladies' frienship or the novel. Lastly, I did not understand this great "love" between Jessie and Whit. To me it wasn't love but a selfish act both felt like they needed to indulge in. Readers remember the shoe salesman question?

Despite all these complaints, which seem to concern a lot of the main points of "The Mermaid Chair," I loved all the small things about this novel--all the background stuff. What I enjoyed about this book were the tales of the mermaid and the mermaid chair, the town's annual mermaid chair ritual, Max the eternal dog, Kat "the no nonsense" best friend, descriptions of Jessie's box artwork and her mermaid paintings, the island's topography, the descriptions of Jessie, Dee, and Hugh's birthday follies, and most of all the touching memories between Jessie and her father. The last plot twist about Jessie's father surprised me. I for one did not see it coming.

This was a nice comfy read that I really enjoyed. If you enjoy writers like Nicholas Sparks or reads that don't take too much mental investment, I would highly recommend this story.

“You can't stop your heart from loving, really -- it's like standing out there in the ocean yelling at the waves to stop.”
― Sue Monk Kidd, The Mermaid Chair

My review..9/6/2020

The Mermaid Chair was a must read for me. I fell in love..immediately..with the cover. I'd also read "The invention of wings" which I'd rated a five. I was prepared to love this. I did not.

I DID love certain aspects. By gosh, this woman can write. And she writes in a way I love. She writes about summer and islands and Mermaids. She writes of Star Fish and beautiful Sea Corral and she writes of water and tranquility. She writes of beautiful flowers and the sweetness of the Sea Spray and of tropical breezes and citrus and her writing is just..simply..heavenly.

But the subject matter..it did not do it for me. The infidelity was not the issue..not really. So what WAS the issue? Lots of things.

I did not really understand Jess. I did understand her motivation, her wanting to be free. And I understood her desire. To people who question why she needed sex to feel free..I get that. Is there anything more exciting then the first blush of pure passion? Of feeling a soul connection? I got all that and it did not offend me.

But her feelings of disdain for her husband bewildered me. Not that she was tired of him. But in certain ways, she seemed to find him repugnant and that I did not get. To question one's life..yes. But at times Jesse almost seemed to dislike him and she became so hostile toward High and so..almost contemptious..that I found it hard to understand.

Add to that:

SPOILERS:

When Jesse had the odd turnaround and wanted to go back to Hugh. It seemed to happen so suddenly. Can one really turn off one's sexuality that quickly? She LOVED this man..Brother Tom..and all of a sudden she was longing for Hugh. I GUESS this sort of thing happens. Not having ever been married maybe I just do not get it. But all of a sudden her feelings shifted toward Hugh and she loved him fiercely. Now if it had been casual between tom and her I'd have understood but she felt Tom was PART of her and her soul. It was hard to understand when all of a sudden she was literally saying the same thing about Hugh. I was a bit baffled.

Plus..the book was depressing. Really gloomy. And very New Agey. And just not in a way I liked.

I'd have adored this book if it had all been just about the island. The incredible writing, the raw and special BEAUTY of how this woman (Sue Monk Kidd) writes is vivid and beautiful. I just was not wild about the story line.

I also did not get what she said about how their love ( her and Brother Tom’s), wasn’t meant for such mundane things as washing socks or living together. Then is it really love at all? I had to wonder. Jesse's marrying herself to the sea was a little out there but I love the sea too so I could understand that. And the images of the island made me want to go there. Very mixed feelings.


And so much time was spent on the mom's story line as well as the story of her dad which broke my heart but was to painful for me to read without skimming..The book was a celebration in a way of life and living and I get that and I deeply respect some of the messages in this book. But the book as a whole was not for me.

I picked this up at the faaaaabulous Reno book sale, and I'm not sure why. I really hated this same author's "The Secret Life of Bees," but I figured it'd be worth a try.

I was surprised to find that I liked it, even if it read like a mixture of the Thorn Birds and a Lifetime movie. It's about a woman in her forties who is bored with her life. Her mom, who lives back on ye olde island that the daughter never goes back to (her dad died, all kinds of bad memories, yada yada), has cut off her finger with a meat cleaver. She goes back to take care of her mom, deal with the island, deal with her husband's death, and, oh yeah, have daily sex with a monk who's questioning his relationship with God.

Kinda trashy but the writing is actually pretty decent, and it was enjoyable to read. However, the author likes to use symbolism but doesn't trust that her readers understand it, so a lot of time is spent telling us things we could probably figure out, for example, that water is a symbol of sensuality. Even if you didn't know that in the beginning, you'd know it after ten pages of reading about the intensely erotic relationship the main character has with it and the many erotic paintings she has created in an erotic, watery, sensuous kind of way. Because the water, you see, is erotic. And sensuous. And it makes her sensual and whole again. In a very erotic way. Like water.

That said, it's enjoyable book to read. I applaud the author trying to get deep, and there's some nice writing, but gawd, someone tell her to stop hitting her readers over the head with the metaphorical stick. Or maybe it's an erotic stick. I'll have to get back to you on that one.

I liked this alot, in spite of my predilection not to once I realized the gist of the story. I didn't enjoy it quite as much as The Secret Life of Bees... it was exceptionally well-written, definitely better than most of the stuff I have been reading. It was relevant and I think prompted reflection on my general psychological well-being and state. But I couldn't help but feel like it wasn't fresh... to me. Some of what the main character Jessie learned I feel like I already knew. So I didn't relish the spectacular affair she had with Brother Thomas, because I knew all along how it would end. That part wasn't a discovery for me.

Where I think Kidd's true strength is, is in her writing about family ties and how they influence us. Jessie's relationship with her father was the most poignant for me, and the most true. I felt like her mother was pathetic and this part of the story, about the women-bonds in Jessie's life, didn't really ring true. The story was about Jessie's relationships with men and how her father impacted those.

Having said I enjoyed it and it prompted reflection on my own life, I was vaguely uneasy with all the psychological posturing in the book. I guess it was an integral part of the character's journey, but it was a little too self-conscious, particularly when shared from the viewpoint of Hugh.

Although I prefer her first novel, I would recommend this one and I'll read anything else she puts out. I think this novel may be more profound than I am giving it credit for... perhaps because, as I've said, what Jessie discovered about her need for self just didn't seem like news to me.

Oh my goodness! I was a little reluctant to read another Sue Monk Kidd book, having loved The Secret Life Of Bees so much. I was terrified of being disappointed.
Well, The Mermaid Chair does not disappoint in anyway. So beautifully written that I actually re read some paragraphs for sheer enjoyment.
This is a lovely story about a woman finding herself & her history & becoming comfortable with it all. It's also about her mother & an amazing group of friends.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves reading narrative, descriptive & engaging books. This is beautiful.

I have to think on this before writing a full review. I loved some of the writing in the prologue and hoped that it would continue throughout the book. There were glimpses and the ending paragraph, but I wanted more of her descriptive and reflective prose. The overall story was good, I liked the setting, I was very interested in what was going on with the MC's mother, I even was okay with how everything concluded, but one of the pieces was distasteful to me and kept me from being all in. Like I said I'll think on this to see if I can capture my feelings about the novel.

I was so disappointed in this book. This is what happens when I refuse to read summaries before I pick something up. I am so tired of these types of books: white middle-aged woman isn’t satisfied with her life now that her kids are away from home, so she decides to “find herself” and woops! looks like that involves having an affair. Just — can we get away from this story? It’s not compelling. I’m tired of stories that focus on cheating as a way of finding what you really want in life and finding out what satisfies you. I get that it happens, but there are so many ways this story can be told and most of them don’t end up with me hating a main character I’m supposed to root for, because s/he is a selfish person who has no compassion for their significant other’s feelings.

Also, the main character immediately fell in love with the guy she cheated on her husband with. IMMEDIATELY. She saw his face and was started daydreaming of spending a life together with him, regardless of how he thought about it and what he wanted. Just. Ugh. WHY?!

If we ignore the adultery and awkward affair, though, it’s actually quite a nice story. I wish it had only focused on the aspects of the main character re-examining her past, getting to understand her mother a little better, and reconnecting with her childhood home. She grew up on a small island, which is a character in its own right, and I loved the details of all the various creatures and plants living in it and the lifestyle of the people who made their homes on it. I also appreciated the mythology of the Mermaid Chair and the story it was given. I felt like all of this was the heart of the story, and it could have easily been told without all the cheating and weird love-at-first sight (but really lust) stuff, but that’s fine.

Of course, read it if it interests you, but this wasn’t really my kind of thing.

Also posted on Purple People Readers.

I had a lot of difficulty relating to the protagonist, who seems to have a very caring and attentive husband but at the start of the book, for some reason, has grown tired of him. Or maybe not of him specifically, but of who she is in the marriage, or of being his wife. There simply weren't any good reasons given for why she should feel as she does, and the husband is presented as very kind and giving.

I also didn't like the subtext of the story, as I interpreted it, which seems to be that the protagonist couldn't have possibly grown any more as a woman or even a person *without* cheating on her husband. It seemed a big cop out and rationalization to me, and as a woman now married for over 17 years, I'd like to think that if a day should come when I feel bored and tired of myself and my marriage, I'd have some better and less hurtful ideas about how to improve things. Marriage or personal counseling, for example.

If the author's intent was to show how a woman manages to escape from the womanly trap of being defined only in relation to one's male partner, I think she failed because the author allows her protagonist to escape the husband trap only by stepping into a lover trap. I prefer feminine stories of growth that show the women rising above their romantic entanglements, and revealing their true character by keeping their priorities in life straight.

Granted, this lady did not set out specifically to find some other man to connect with, but as soon as that man appeared she was quick to jump in with both feet, and with scarcely a thought about the impact her decision would have on her husband and (adult) daughter. In the end her long-suffering husband takes her back, so there's very little fallout from the affair.

I might've enjoyed the book more, and been made less angry by it, if it ended with the protagonist losing her marriage and being somewhat alienated from her daughter. Not as a punishment, but as the cost of the choices she made. Then, the message of the story would be that opportunities for personal growth often come at a cost, not only to ourselves but to our loved ones, and sometimes the price for that growth is too high.

I think that everyone had super high expectations of this book after the amazing success of The Secret Life of Bees (which I loved). This was a good book. I enjoyed it. But it wasn't in the same league with SLB. The characters, as always, are quirky and likable. The imagery is rich. The setting is magical, a place I'd really like to go. And the story is engaging. But something about it seemed more Nicholas Sparks-y than I expected. It's half good literature and half trashy romance novel with a predictable ending. But then, sometimes that's kind of fun too. And of course, it made me cry. Props to any book that can carry that off. I'd recommend it as a stand-alone, but don't expect it to be anything like SLB except for the strong women, the Catholic themes, the theme of the child who thinks she has killed a parent and the evocative poetic language.

I really liked the beginning of this book. I especially liked the stories about, the main character, Jesse's childhood, growing up on an island with strong traditions and a close feeling of community, the rituals she shared with her father, his magical thinking and storytelling and the special relationship they shared.

There were quite a few surprises in this story. I had no idea what Jesse's mother had done and was shocked by it. When Jesse goes back home to the little island to help care for her mother she spends a lot of time focused on herself. Which made me think of her as selfish and self-centered and I started to like her less because of it. I appreciated that she was having a mid-life crisis but I thought she could have had it while being more attentive to her mother.


(Spoiler alert)
We know from the book jacket that she falls in love with a monk but I would have enjoyed the story more if the author hadn't allowed Jesse to act on her feelings for Father Thomas. As it was the feeling "in love with" and thinking she was "in love with" a man she just met felt very adolescent. But when she acted on her feelings it really spoiled the book for me.

I think many of the same issues of marriage, maintaining your identity, knowing and loving yourself could have been explored just as well (maybe better) without the infidelity.