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Initial review:
“Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.”
Good god. I am finally done.
2 stars- one for each of the two characters I liked in the whole book. Review when I am feeling good and ranty.
Jeff- prepare for extra voltage on those nipple clamps later.
Revised review:
So, the crazy band of misfits that opt out of wearing pants suggested we read the Woman in White. Having read Woman in Black (thank you, Dan Radcliffe) I thought to myself- gee whiz! This sure ought to be fun! The Woman in Black is a great ghost story. The Woman in White is a dragged out overdone boring ghost story. Like a ghost story about a ghost that likes to sit and watch paint dry while eating Triscuits.
Nope, not really because THAT story already sounds better than anything that actually happens in THIS story.
There is only one character in this entire story worth learning about and that is Marian. She is like a woman from New York. She’s loud, she’s proud, she’s mouthy, she takes absolutely 0 shit from anyone and she isn’t afraid to kick the shit out of someone for those she holds closest in her heart. Marian is the best. Her biggest downfall is that she is hideous….which is brought up continuously throughout the book. Especially in contrast to her “sister” Laura.
Laura is everyone’s favorite beauty queen. She’s delicate and fragile and known to swoon without a moment’s notice. She is everything I hate about this era. I have very little tolerance for people who allow themselves to be helpless. (Obviously I am not heartless and know there are situations that people can’t get themselves out of. I’m not THAT much of a dick. So easy on the stone-throwing.) It makes reading classics a painful endeavor because women are always fainting and fragile little flowers who can’t stand even the thought of someone raising his/her voice in their presence. Goodness, no!
There’s a whole slew of worthless characters that I suppose contribute to the storyline but basically-everyone loves Laura and her bejeweled vagina. Everyone thinks Marian needs to keep her mouth closed. There’s an evil villain set to marry the good girl while the bad girl fights alongside the sweet dope of a man who is ALSO in love with Laura. Oh, and there’s a ghost lady who isn’t really a ghost. (spoiler??)
Too many words too little story. If I hadn’t read this with my favorite MahFah, I wouldn’t have every gotten through it.
