Interesting look at why people do the things they do. Are we inherently bad or does something drive our rational decision making? This book draws the thin line between what is wrong, and what is necessary. Is it "wrong" to kill the husband who molested your innocent 2 year old granddaughter? But that's just the question on the surface. Suppose you know what becomes of 2 year old girls who are molested by a family member? Suppose you know that it leads to your mother committing suicide because she couldn't protect you from your pedophile father? Suppose you know that 2 year old girl is going to grow up severely depressed, loaded with guilt over her mother's suicide, a sexual slave to her father, and completely helpless to control her own life? Suppose you know that when that ruined little girl grows up she is going to keep choosing men who use her, control her, and abuse her? Suppose you know all this because it happened to you...then try and tell yourself you wouldn't kill the man to STOP the cycle of sexual abuse and violence, with you. It made me ask myself; "What would it take to drive me to murder?"

"Hope, Freedom and Peace through Journaling"

Author Wally Lamb's workshop at York Correctional Facility for Women inspired eleven inmates to commit their memories of childhood and early adulthood to paper. This process has proven beneficial to the wounded "children" locked inside their hearts, as well as to those who seek to understand how they wound up in prison. Once the hurdle of not trusting anyone behind bars was cleared, these eleven women unleashed the floodgates of repressed or anguished memories--relating their personal journeys of trauma and degradation with stark realism. Yes, it is not easy for those of us with protected childhoods to digest these bitter accounts, yet it is critical to instill compassion.

Learning to trust, to accept responsibility for their own actions, and realizing that many childhood traumas were Not their fault are major steps in personal catharsis--in coming to terms decades later with how they were wronged. Gradually these brave women have been proactive in releasing the shackles of guilt and shame which they forged on the outside.

Author Lamb shares his writing and editing gifts with these women, so that the first-person texts flow with continuity and intention. This collection of memories rings true, for many themes prove hauntingly familiar. This book, with its cover of a broken Mona Lisa composite, should be required reading for all Sociology majors and Social Service workers. Don't read it for mere entertainment, but rather for human enlightenment. Dare to join the sisterhood!

(July 1, 2011.)

I am so glad I finally got to this book.
Women in a correctional facility in Connecticut are given the opportunity to attend a writing workshop with a famous author (Wally Lamb) as one of the instructors. Many of them comment on how writing has helped them to conquer some of their demons and how important it has become to them.

The stories are autobiographical with some fiction inserted. All are very tragic. "To imprison a woman is to remove her voice from the world, but many female inmates have been silenced by life long before the transport van carries them from the courthouse to the correctional facility.... Of the eleven contributors to this volume, eight have been battered and nine have been sexually abused, a statistic that reflects the norm for incarcerated women. "

As things changed in the prison industry, the women found themselves under more and more restrictive conditions. It is an industry of incarceration rather than help for people to return to their families and society. This won't be my place to say more on the topic. My hope is that there are more programs like the one that came up with this book available.

Any book that can give voice to the voiceless should be celebrated. No one feels this more strongly than Wally Lamb, editor of Couldn't Keep It to Myself, a collection of stories by 11 women imprisoned in the York Correctional Institution in Connecticut. Teacher and novelist Lamb was invited to head a writing workshop at York Correctional Institution in 1999. His somewhat reluctant acceptance soon turned into steadfast advocacy once the women in his charge began to tell their stories. Lamb maintains that there are things we need to know about prison and prisoners: "There are misconceptions to be abandoned, biases to be dropped." However, as heartfelt as his appeal is, nothing speaks more convincingly in this book than the stories themselves. (Amazon Review).

I've read almost all of what Wally Lamb has written and although I assumed this too would be a very good read, however, I did not expect to be completely captivated and overcome by it; I found myself really, really thinking about the woman in this book, after I put it down at night and when I awoke in the morning. I certainly am rating this a star higher than the average rating, but it is not so much for the writing itself but for the impact this book has had on me.

This book accomplished two things... it cemented my love for Wally Lamb and it seriously changed my perspective on the incarcerated.

My favorite part was Wally Lamb talking about his 'excuse card' he keeps by the phone... when he gets asked to volunteer his time, Lamb references the card and preserves his time for writing instead. When asked to volunteer his time for a writing workshop at the York Correctional Institution, he couldn't find the card. Lamb declares himself "a family man, a fiction writer, a teacher, and a guy who can't say no without an index card." With that line on the third page, I just couldn't help myself -- I loved Lamb just a little bit more.

But this isn't a book just furthering my love for Wally Lamb... it is a collection of short stories by the women who have been incarcerated at YCI, a maximum security facility. They share their stories without ever making excuses or whining about their situations. I never would have thought that I would "get" these voices - that I could identify a bit with them, I could cry with them at their saddest moments or share at their wonderment that they had let their lives get to that critical breaking point. I was surprised that there wasn't a single short story I didn't like or an author that I didn't respect. I can't even believe I'm saying I respect these prisoners - but my judgemental attitude really changed somewhere along the way. This was a beautiful book by beautiful, strong women and I am so thankful that Wally Lamb gave these women their voices.

This is a humbling collection of short stories written by women in the York Correctional Institution in Connecticut. Each story is written by the inmates that were put there for various reasons, but none of them leave you feeling like the writer wants you to feel sorry for them. In fact, you feel humbled and grateful that they were willing to share their stories. All of the women came from horrible childhoods: sexual abuse, child-abuse, broken families, drugs, alcohol - numerous tragedies that shaped them into women just looking to be loved and willing to accept it in any form, no matter how misconstrued it was! They were not bad people, just a product of a bad childhood full of degrading acts and many with seemingly hopeless futures. Wally Lamb met these women when he was asked to voluntarily run a writing workshop at York CI. What was something he was dreading later became something he looked forward to every week. These stories are the product of his many months spent with these amazing, resilient women. These women were given a chance to express freely some of the ghosts that have haunted them for years. Self-expression at its finest!

Wow! I loved this book. The fact that these women were able to tell their stories is a testament of Wally Lamb's ability to reach and teach them. Awesome book.I could not put it down, and I couldn't keep it to myself!!!

Wally Lamb is incredibly addicting. He is such a fantastic writer and although he did not directly write this book he is the one that inspired these women to come forth and write their stories. I guarntee you that once you have read this you will look at women in prison in a whole new light (maybe even the men as well, but this is not about the men). Just so I make myself clear and I am not accused as being some bleeding whining liberal, Although their end behavior (the one that wound them up in prison) is not excusable ( not all, but a few Yes) , it can be understood why they did the things they did and wound up down a path that did not turn out in their favor. These women endured almost all of their life mental, physical, and sexual abuse from their own relatives at very early ages. As time went on they wound up with men who promised them the world and gave them nothing but heartache and they coped the only way that they knew how. It's shocking to say the least and I would highly recommend it. I can't sit here and tell you what I would have done if I were in their shoes and honestly no one can unless you have been through what they have gone through.

This is a collection of stories from inmates at the York facility. There is a lot of emotion and inspiration packed into this collection. The writers really tap into the uniquely human ability of storytelling. Each of the inmates suffered from some form of abuse that may have influenced the direction of their lives. By telling their stories one really gets perspective and realizes there's often more to the story than what is presented at the surface.

Ultimately this book highlights the shortcomings of a legal system that may often be in a rush to process cases perhaps due to the overwhelming caseload. Many of the inmates are in need of mental rehabilitation. Placing them in prison without proper care and medication, often exacerbates their condition. The writing program at York is one such way for the inmates to express themselves and offers some form of therapy by giving them a way to unload their troubled memories.

As a fan of Wally Lamb, I was eager to give this book a read. While it is not his characteristic writing style, one can easily see his influence and direction in each of the stories. Wally has shared his time to give these women a voice, and in turn the women have given the readers much to think about with how the judicial system can improve in their treatment of people that may be marginalized or impacted by trauma.

This was an assigned reading for a college class (Women and Crime), and I absolutely loved it. It is very raw and emotional at times, and at others, beautiful and poetic. Lamb provides the reader with access into the physical and mental prisons of incarcerated women, through their own voices. Your experience with this book will probably change the way you view female prisoners and the U.S. justice system. I highly recommend it to everyone, but especially to those interested in Women's Studies, Criminal Justice, Anthropology, Sociology, or Psychology.

I tried to like this book. But the first story killed it for me. It is about the lives of several convicts, and the choices they made that lead them to jail. Uuughh.... It was so depressing.

'Couldn't Keep It To Myself' by Wally Lamb is a sad book of short autobiographical stories written by eleven imprisoned women attending a memoir-writing class. They are racially White and Black. They come from the underclass and the middle-class. Their writings are edited, but unfortunately the real lives of these women were not.

The convictions?

Credit card fraud
Embezzlement
Assault
Drug trafficking
Manslaughter
Homicide


Commonalities:

Childhood traumas, mostly because of shit parents, even if those parents didn’t mean to be terrible. Some of the writers' parents supposedly loved their, generally in number, four kids, some totally didn't. Some of the prisoners claim to love their own, generally numbering about four, kids. Generally the moms of the imprisoned writers worked hard at either outside jobs and/or at trying to guide their kids without much ability, time or knowledge about talking to their kids. Some of the incarcerated women also worked outside the home before their convictions, holding down jobs. Dads generally did not act as if they loved their kids despite their stated vows of deep affection and honorable intentions. Sex education appears to be non-existent, being limited to parental threats without any explanations or efforts to give their daughters birth control. In reality dads, and some moms, acted either with constant punitive violence or selfishness, and often both. Dads almost never provided any funding or time for their kids, despite their claims of eternal love of family and their significant other.

Actions speak louder than words, parents...

-Most of the women had been raped before age twelve, several by dads, stepdads, or adult friends of the family.

-All of the women were involved with a boy or a man in a sexual relationship before age sixteen, feeling it was true love.

-All of them were deserted by the fathers of their children.

-Most of the women dropped out of high school, primarily because they hated school.

-They clearly did not read much before being incarcerated - I can tell, as probably most Goodreads members can when meeting new people - lack of perspective and introspection being the primary clues, especially when these women were in their teens. Plus, excessive reliance on ignorant passed-around social and family tropes and beliefs, without examination or educated knowledge.

-Most have four children, and a couple of divorces/separations or several true-love relationships before they were convicted of crimes and imprisoned.

-Most had many many many ‘homes’, their parents moving a lot.

-Most have ADHD, or learning disabilities, or personality disorders.


Stereotypical, you may be indignantly thinking? Absolutely. Because most real prison inmates often actually do have the same type of family dramas again and again, as verified by outside family members and described by researchers and journalists. The details differ, but not the outlines. Many stereotypes are based on reality, sometimes exaggerated, but real nonetheless. If we want to hear different stories from and about prison inmates, we need to finally fix the causes of criminal behavior. What are the causes? DID YOU READ THE ABOVE EXPERIENCES I RELATED ABOUT THESE WOMEN?

So far, America has little to show in improving the situation despite many thousands of so-called fixes I have seen, read about or tried, by religious authorities, NGO's or government programs.

Republicans generally think more beatings, punishment, shaming and blaming will fix criminals - as if that hasn't been the child education methodology go-to that most of these women's parents already have done.

I do not understand how a substance-addicted or learning-disabled high school dropout coming out of prison decades later still unable to read, write or add figures will somehow be able to become a tax-paying, morally-respectable citizen [and parent] after being warehoused, raped, neglected, deprived, punished and beaten while imprisoned; and never having used an up-to-date computer or smart phone or having been given a meaningful education or mandatory psychiatric treatment. Accept it that the punitive actions many conservatives DO, even if not publicly admitted, actually result in a permanent population of those who are driven to resort to criminal behavior through either mental problems or financial poverty.

Many progressives almost never follow through or continue the often fantastic success-proven educational prison programs they initiate, since they dry up funding after a quarter of a year or after they've been reelected, dropping the ball.

Some progressives and conservatives are fucking crazy, believing in granola- or prayer-lifestyles is all it takes.


Very few businesses truly want an ex-prisoner for an employee, given the issues enumerated above. Women also must face gender discrimination and predations of men bosses and peers, especially if they have children to support and a criminal record, an easy blackmail opportunity. The women in this book who no longer are incarcerated, alas, all seem to be working for NGO’s as councilors, a notoriously low-paid employment, for other women who are substance-addicted and abused by their male lovers.

I am using the term “male lovers” satirically, given the evidence of these women.

We demonize and condemn the mothers for lack of moral values, while wink-wink, excuse the fathers because 'boys will be boys', both genders actually acting out often in the same behaviors (as well as in gender-specific behaviors despite whatever we liberals do to erase some female/male differences).

But, we do almost nothing (except relying on using moral misdirection or Pollyanna fixes of temporary hope), to resolve the actual dysfunctional family foundation of generations: No. Financial. Or. Enrichment. Resources.

We refuse, absolutely refuse, to provide any real laws or enforcement of laws, or any long-term funding, for mandatory psychiatric care.

Personally, I am beginning to believe all parents should be absolutely licensed, with proofs of having the ability to support children financially and psychologically, particularly since we are tending to make abortion a moral issue and illegal, or as nearly impossible to get as a free college education. If you think abortion should be illegal, then why is crap parenting not made illegal? Crap parenting is absolutely a crime, too, despite Pollyanna thinking.

SUPPORT WOMEN AND THEIR CHILDREN WITH FINANCIAL RESOURCES AND EARLY EDUCATION. MEN, KEEP YOUR GD PENIS IN YOUR PANTS UNLESS YOU USE BIRTH CONTROL AND SUPPORT YOUR KIDS COMPLETELY FOR EIGHTEEN YEARS WITH GD MONEY AND TIME WITHOUT ABUSE.

Wally Lamb is a well-known author, and Dale Griffith has taught at the York Correctional Institution School, both supporting writing workshops at prisons.

An example of ‘involved’ fatherhood: https://youtu.be/jHPbOGEUvZA