Actually- I DNF, but the plot was gaining interest.

I believe the title refers to the times when Jo/Felicia, the protagonist, is not present in her own life, because she's distracted and not paying attention...something we're all guilty of. She was opaque, reserved, dignified or do you call her secretive??

This first person narrative is told by the mother in the family, as she recalls her 'thoughtlessly' conventional life...and her prior identity.

Some of the names of people & places, like Stead family name (instead? ;-) and the house on Lyman Street (lie. Liar. Lying...?) were pregnant with additional meanings. In the book there are lies within lies like those Russian nesting dolls.

My favorite quotation was; "You do need to understand and accept being hated...this is one of the greatest gifts children can give you, as long as it doesn't last."

This was my introduction to Sue Miller & tho' her 'worlds' are very small, she does have a knack for the way we rationalize things in our minds though we may never say these thoughts aloud.

I'd read her again. My book club enjoyed it.

I'm not sure what to say about While I Was Gone by Sue Miller except that at times I loved it, hated it, and was bored by it. I would recommend for a book club because there are many issues, characters, and situations to discuss.

Can we say Boring? Oh it really was...She jumped from her current life to her teenage years back and forth like a ping pong ball..And when I finished the book I sat there question what was the whole point of reading it? I mean yes there was an issue that was solved but it just didn't say much about the story. I found a review by another woman on good reads and I have to say I agree with her 100 percent...She says
I liked this book until I realized that I has 1/3 of the way through and couldn't figure out where things were going. And, I figured out I didn't like the lying, cheating central character, who was writing from her own perspective (first person) and absolutely oblivious to how she was hurting people. Even at the end of the book, when she'd had her "epiphany," it was no epiphany, and she did not change, she just found better ways to cover up her lying and cheating.
That about sums up how I felt reading it.

A great book which tells the story of a lady who I think always wants a bit more out of her life. She ran away from her first marriage to live a life she thought she wanted but this ends in tragedy. She manages to settle down later in life with a lovely husband and her 3 children but when the children leave home and someone from the past reappears it opens up a need in her to have something more in her life. Well written and full of suspense.

I thought this one was a bit clunky at first. It didn't begin to flow for me until about the third chapter, but once it did, I sopped it up pretty eagerly. The book deals with selves. The ones we were, the ones we've become, and the ways we choose to incorporate our pasts into our present lives. It deals with self-justifications of the shameful, hurtful or otherwise negative actions we play out. Honesty and trust within the familial structure are weighed heavily against the images one hopes to convey about one's experience. The mood tends to be heavy and sad.

There's so much more to it, so many themes, but I want to remain vague so as not to spoil anything. Part of what I really enjoyed about this book came from knowing so little about it when I started. There is a wonderfully crafted element of suspense that would be entirely missed if too many details were revealed. I found it very worth my time.

The book wasn’t a love story. It wasn’t a thriller by any stretch of the imagination. I found the characterization throughout the novel rather shallow except for the main character. The story was predictable and reminded me of a Lifetime movie. My rating is meh.

Excellent! Well written. Being of the same generation as Jo I related to the communal house in her 20's, and to her empty nest "where do I fit into my life now" periods. I also related to her need to keep things to herself.( I was surprised at how open she was with Daniel.) Whether it is not wanting to be judged or self protection I don't know. I think we never really know other people no matter how long we may be in relationship. We never really know how they might react to our thoughts or actions that they don't see as part of their perception of us. I seem to have constantly disappointed people without meaning to, and I think this was true of Jo. We can only do the best we can with what we know at the time. Forgiveness of ourselves and others is the best gift we can give ourselves. Acceptance and compassion are the resolution.

I tried to like this -- really I did. I just couldn't get into this one... couldn't relate to the main character at all. Found myself frustrated with Jo's incessant whining. The only thing that kept me reading until the end was unravelling the mystery that often felt like the "secondary" story line.

I read this book for a second time. While I didn't remember all the details, I remember feeling uncomfortable reading it. And did again. The main character had begun thinking of her past, the life she led, the people she knew, and the terrible event that ended that phase of her life. There are lots of moral touchpoints here - lots to chew on - and the ending, while plausible, is also morally ambiguous. Lots to think about.

Honestly it’s so hard not to give this a five. I picked up this book expecting to spend 20 minutes reading a little bit and then proceeded to read the last 120 pages to finish it. I’m glad I randomly picked this one off of the shelf

More like 3 1/2 stars. The writing was lovely and I liked the quiet, slowly building tension. It does bring up questions about how well you can really ever know another person’s true nature, or your own for that matter. What are the secrets we hide, and why? I’m not sure I’m quite satisfied with the ending but it was definitely an engaging read.