Ick. One star for a decent plot, and a respectable theme.

I dislike being told all about a character, especially by the character herself. Show me, and let me experience the story rather than instructing me. I found much of the narrative to be a little trite, and sometimes too "Harlequinesque".

Far too many mundane details about insignificant acts, such as an entire paragraph on making risotto. No, I did not think that such ramblings of routine ran counterpoint to Jo's impulsiveness, nor that they served to exemplify the simple peace she sought. It bored me to tears.

I found much of her behavior hard to buy. Perhaps because it was so often explained after incidents occurred. Frankly, I found her to be quite stupid. For instance, her daughter, Sadie, is responsible for getting her involved with another character, but when problems develop between them, the effect this might have on Sadie doesn't even occur to her.

No matter how understanding I tried to be of Jo's growth process, I couldn't develop any fondness for the heroine. In some cases, negative feelings about the protagonist can work wonderfully - not so in this case. Primarily, she frustrated me and I found myself repeatedly wanting to see her either shut up or grow up. The fact that she finally seems to accomplish this in the end was, for this reader, too little too late.

This book was very slow-moving, but that wasn't what bothered me so much. I think it was the morality of the book, the idea that a grown-up life is deficient in fun and freedom. I really couldn't relate to her own, her daughters' or her friend's lapses in morality, no matter if the excuse is music, youth, politics or a prim upbringing. The mystery itself was interesting and frankly creepy. Just remembering that the sermon that Daniel gives on pages 110 and 111 was excellent.

This book creeped me out but I love Sue Miller's style.

This is Sue Miller #2 for me (I started with Monogamy, her newest book). Her writing is very detailed and descriptive (a little like Meg Wolitzer or Claire Lombardo). One review describes reading Miller's novels as "peering in through the windows of a comfortable house, spying on ordinary people in their most unguarded moments. You can see their thoughts and quickly become addicted to invading their privacy." Even in the creepy parts of While I Was Gone (someone gets murdered), Miller's writing has this swaying quality to it. It’s like sitting in an anchored boat: there's constant movement that doesn't involve actually going anywhere. Plenty of people find this slow or boring. I understand both criticisms-- there were times when I wanted to skim for plot development. I generally liked it though, and plan to make my way through the rest of her stuff.

A quite by accident re-read with a good friend. And although I am shelving this as a re-read, I had read it so long ago that I remembered virtually nothing about it, other than I've kept it after my various moves because I loved it when I read it the first time. And this time was no different.

At the book's opening we meet our narrator, Jo (Josie), her husband (Daniel), her 3 grown daughters, and others that are part of Jo's veterinary practice that she shares with her one female partner. My friend and I compared thoughts throughout our read and we both agreed that the author nails everything of which she writes - vet practice, dogs, marriage, relationships, kids, and as a bonus for me this book takes place in Massachusetts.

We are shortly transported back to Jo's days in Cambridge, MA as a young (early 20's) woman escaping her first short-lived marriage to Ted. Jo is 'accepted' into a rambling house of other young adults after being interviewed and approved by all, but in particular the beautiful and spirited young woman, Dana. All of these memories are flooded back to Jo when a new patient to her clinic arrives, Eli, who was also a member of the Cambridge house. Needless to say, Jo's past is unexpectedly in her path.

What transpires is a blend of so many things, beautifully written and expressed. This author IMO has a real gift of making me at least feel every gut wrenching emotion and moment that takes place. It's somewhat of a mystery but cloaked in a story of family and friends.

Wishy Washy

Jo Becker is a Woman in her fifties,she is a veterinarian,her husband,Daniel is a Minister,they have three daughters,the family has had,up to this point,a good life. During the sixties,when she was about twenty two and had fled from her ,than ,husband,to Boston where she moved into a group home ,a kind of commune, where one of her roommates,Dana, was murdered,and now forty years later one of the housemates,Eli Mayhew ,has moved to the small New England town where Jo lives and everything that happened in the year she was in Boston comes to light and she comes close to losing her marriage and the relationship of her daughters.
This is a story about how quickly and casually a marriage can be destroyed and how a good wife can lose everything she holds dear and makes us consider what's best told and what's best kept private.
A very good read.

The plot of this was interesting enough, but the narcissism of the main character nearly drove me nuts. I thought the ending was truncated, given the long buildup. Maybe Sue Miller got tired of Jo, too. I did like the lack of total resolution, though, because it's real. I'd be willing to give Miller another go.

A midlife crisis with a twist. I didn't particularly like our protagonist, Jo, but I think many women would relate, to some degree, to her reflections. The story was starting to get a bit long and tedious before it picked up again near the end, and could have benefited from some more editing. I could have done without so much detail in the novel's two sex scenes without the story suffering from the omission. The ending was somewhat deflating, but real life endings often are, so points for realism.

This book was so internal and painfully sluggish at times. I'm not going to rehash the plot for you other than to summarize the story as this. Jo is a middle-aged vet in New England with 3 grown girls and a saintly pastor-husband that somehow tolerates her apathetic feelings toward him and his faith. Someone from her past comes back in her life and stirs up all the memories of a liberating but scary period (detour) in her otherwise straight-laced life. The biggest problem is that I could not get behind the protagonist and therefore, could not care less when her life started to unravel. This book felt like treading through sludge and I was happy to be done with the characters when I finished.

I classify this style of writing as melancholy. Not a bad thing but you have to be in the mood for something that makes you read slowly and feel pensive. At first I thought maybe this flowery prose would lead nowhere but then came the little twist that set the tone for the rest of the story. This book could lead to discussion on several topics including loyalties, boredom even in a happy marriage, how a person got to their current place in life, etc. I think the biggest take-a-way though is KNOW WHEN TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

One of the benefits to reading So Damn Much is I often forget what I've consumed, allowing me to discover it all over again.

I spent the first 20 pages of While I Was Gone thinking it felt very familiar, but I couldn't quite put it all together. I was viewing the story through a veil of forgetfulness.

So on this reread, I was able to invest in the characters, immerse in the world and be surprised all over again.