It was a better book before I read it. Before, it was infinitely absurd. After, it was only absolutely absurd. Obviously, infinite is greater than absolute. This book has been diminished by my reading it.

This is a re-read as part of an occasional foray back to favourites from the past.

Bought in 1981 - it predates college, career, my wife, my children. My copy is a little battered, the spine sunburnt from a vivid red to a light pink. The pages are liver spotted and the book has that musty old bookshop smell. It has followed me from my parents home, to college and on to five addresses in Cambridge. I have read this book many times, but had not touched it for several years.

Yossarian is a bombardier in the USAF. He has a problem. Everyone is trying to kill him - the Germans, the Italians, his own colleagues. Part of the problem is that every time he reaches enough combat missions to be sent home his zealous superiors raise the threshold to make themselves look good.

Heller does a great job in exposing the sheer futility of war, the waste of men and materiel and the cynical distortion of the war effort by self aggrandising and self seeking "leaders" - usually from the comfort of a desk far behind the front line.

The book is confusing, rumbustious, freewheeling, funny, repetitive, wise and weary. Underlying it all is the idea of Catch 22 - basically "they" (the authorities) can do anything to you that you cannot stop them doing to you.

Perhaps the best way to give a flavour of the book is to provide a few quotes


“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.

"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.”



“You have a morbid aversion to dying. You probably resent the fact that you're at war and might get your head blown off any second."

"I more than resent it, sir. I'm absolutely incensed."

"You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs, or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate."

"Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously."

"You're antagonistic to the idea of being robbed, exploited, degraded, humiliated, or deceived. Misery depresses you. Ignorance depresses you. Persecution depresses you. Violence depresses you. Corruption depresses you. You know, it wouldn't surprise me if you're a manic-depressive!"

"Yes, sir. Perhaps I am."

"Don't try to deny it."

"I'm not denying it, sir," said Yossarian, pleased with the miraculous rapport that finally existed between them. "I agree with all you've said.”



“From now on I'm thinking only of me."

Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile: "But, Yossarian, suppose everyone felt that way."

"Then," said Yossarian, "I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?”



The book is chock full of outrageous characters, amongst my favourites are:

Milo Minderbinder - the mess officer who creates a vast black market paean to free enterprise which somehow involves bombing his own side for a fee from the Germans

Major Major Major Major - destined to be a major by virtue of his name alone, with the help of a confused IBM mainframe

General Scheisskopf - a martinet interested only in parades who is promoted far beyond his competence

Chief White Halfoat - an itinerant native American - his family was moved on from wherever they tried to settle as oil was struck as soon as they stopped there

A great book. Do read it

I’m not sure if it’s a talent or an affliction, but I’ve been blessed or cursed with a penchant for taking someone else’s creative work and extrapolating it to skewed extremes. That explains my yet-to-be-published collection of fan fiction, unauthorized sequels, and twists in perspective. I first discovered this talent/affliction as a boy when I imagined a fourth little pig who leveraged himself to the hilt, built a luxury skyscraper, and, with YUGE block letters at its base, labelled it Pig Tower. The Big Bad Wolf, as a professional courtesy (and quite possibly with the promise of kickbacks), agreed to a huff and puff waiver.

As a teen I wrote a follow-up to Kurt Vonnegut’s classic that I called Slaughterhouse-Six. It was set in a mirror image world where war was devastating the planet Tralfamadore. Fortunately, the protagonist, Libby Mirglip, survived the bombs and lived a varied if not full life after the conflict. She was aided by alien visitors from planet Earth who showed her, through their own less enlightened example, what not to do.

I’d prefer not to go into the details of one my more recent works, Fifty-two Shades of Grey. If it’s ever published, it’ll be under an assumed name, or maybe names – I’m toying with the idea of S. and M. John. BTW, I saw that some other joker stole my basic idea and technically beat me to the preferred number fifty-one.

This brings us to my latest, Catch-23. Since I’ve already done an absurdist post-war account of tragedy/comedy with Slaughterhouse-Six, I wanted to steer clear of such a heavy/humorous theme this time. Instead, Catch-23 is the story of a local seafood restaurant on 23 S. Washington St. in Naperton, Illinois. They became famous for their Shrimp Yossarian. Then a new executive chef upped the number of times customers would fly through the doors by offering Skate Wing Schnitzel a la Scheisskopf, Major Major Mahi Mahi, and Stuffed Oysters Orr-style. Naperton’s whore gave the story some much needed spice. (As with any fan fiction, references will only be appreciated by those who know the original.)

Oh, and hey, there is a catch here. Against your better judgment, you continued reading each ridiculous example in this exercise of “one more." Making it this far means you’ve read “one more” paragraph all the way to the end. The catch is that you must be crazy enough to perceive this as a payoff.