Picked this up because it was recommended to me by several trusted persons as life changing.

Yup, it was life changing.

While there is lots of value as a self-help book penned by a psychiatrist, its true nature is a spiritual guide book by an enlightened person. This book is basically about how to live life better. My recurring response throughout the various sections was that the author is very sensible. His experience as a psychiatrist lends him not just theoretical but practical credibility when it comes to giving life advice. Hopefully as you live life you learn from your mistakes and even from the observable mistakes of others, but through interfacing on a deep level with multitudes of patients in all manners of distress and mental states he has learned from the mistakes, and successes, of many, many people.

Some favorite things from this first read through:
Section 1: Discipline
(if Jocko Willink's books are the Who/What/When/Where of Discipline, this section contains the How)
-Life is suffering and suffering well is a key to living life well. Incidentally, neurosis is the result of trying to avoid legitimate suffering, which in itself becomes suffering but of the illegitimate kind. Legitimate suffering, as life presents it to you, leads to progress and growth. Illegitimate suffering (originating from trying to avoid legitimate suffering) is damning, leading nowhere.
-The practice of experiencing the pains of life constructively is essentially what we call discipline, and there are four basic techniques for doing so:
1. Delaying gratification. Essentially working first and resting/recreating later and not ignoring unavoidable problems. Learn to recognize and call BS on your procrastinations.
2. Accepting responsibility. Always and only that responsibility which belongs to you, specifically. Neurotic people blame themselves for everything, persons with character disorders blame everyone else/circumstances for everything. While the former 'extreme ownership' is the more helpful of the two, find the golden mean. Freedom is the natural consequence of realizing your life/circumstances are your responsibility, just as captivity/diminishment is the natural consequence of misattributing that responsibility to external factors/escaping responsibility. Learn to recognize and call BS on your excuses.
3. Dedication to Truth/Reality. The more clearly you see reality, the better equipped you are to operate within it. Delusion is crazy dangerous. Keep an open mind, update your mental maps often, be willing to unlearn/relearn things, welcome challenge/change. Learn to recognize and call BS on your false perceptions.
4. Balancing. Discipline must be employed with flexibility and judgment, following a "time and season for all things" approach. Learn to recognize when your system of discipline is causing you to grow, and when it might be inhibiting your growth.

Section 2: Love
(Love is the Why, as it relates to Discipline. )
-There are many definitions of love and types of love, which can make discussion about love confusing. Love is the will (of sufficient intensity that it is translated into action) to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing spiritual growth (whether it's yourself/self-love, or others). Love is NOT: something that will result in the spiritual decline of another (depending on circumstances), a feeling ("falling in love" is just chemicals, wubbalubbadubdub), effortless (love requires exertion of some kind), dependency (love celebrates individuality and independence in the context of growth), an act of conformity (expressing love because it is expected or societally normal is not genuine, it must be a choice freely made).
-Similar to discipline, love must be applied judiciously and can take many forms: giving as well as withholding, praising as well as criticizing, comforting as well as arguing/struggling/confronting/urging/pushing/pulling. Therefore, a great deal of contextual knowledge must be gained (through the loving act of paying attention) before love can properly be administered, as well as a great deal of planning. The common thread throughout is that the lover is attending to the spiritual needs of the beloved, and not merely meeting their own needs.
-Loving someone (even yourself) requires the extension of one's self and that extension is what is meant by spiritual growth. The extension leads us to new and unfamiliar territory and our self becomes a new, different, expanded self. This growth involves risk (so courage is required) and pain (so discipline is required), so a full life will be full of pain (and joy) but the only alternative is not to life fully and diminish your life to a point of nonexistence (which many people do, in fact).

Section 3: Growth and Religion
(I didn't get much out of this section)
-He proposes "religion" is just whatever your worldview is in regards to morality etc, and so everyone has a religion. Semantics.
-He proposes that science is just a religion of skepticism, and that while it is a distinct improvement over a world view based on blind faith, it is incomplete/can be supplemented by a belief in "God" and other traditional religious concepts (but, as you guessed, these must be arrived upon individually with flexibility and judgment).

Section 4: Grace
(I didn't get much out of the first two thirds of this section)
-He establishes that your unconscious mind is much wiser and attune to reality than you are, and interestingly suggests that mental illness (and psychosomatic symptoms) arise as a result of you resisting your unconscious wisdom. He then proposes that "you" are your conscious, and that "God" is your unconscious (or rather, the collective unconscious, as opposed to your personal unconscious). Therefore, it is the ultimate goal of spiritual growth for your conscious to be aligned with your unconscious/the collective unconscious, and thereby to become (as one with) ~God (while retaining our conscious selves, not melding into the unconscious).
-Power can either be political or spiritual. Political power is the capacity to coerce others, overtly or covertly, to do one's will. This capacity resides in a position (leadership, or the possession of money). Spiritual power is the power to make decisions with maximum awareness, aka consciousness. This capacity resides in the individual itself. Godlike power is the power to make decisions with total awareness (and not be immobilized by the increased awareness of one's knowledge of the ramifications of those decisions), and omniscience actually makes decisions more difficult to make since the consequences of acting (or not) echo into the eternities.

OVERALL: really interesting read, will reread in the future. Most of the definitions and theories are really well thought out, though I disagree with some of the logic and rhetoric in sections 3 and 4. That said, he's the kind of person/author where the things he says that I do agree with make me more willing to entertain the things he says that I disagree with, instead of the other way around (you know, when someone makes 5 good points then their 6th terrible point makes you disavow about the first 5 good points).

I would recommend this book to anyone who likes philosophy or spiritual/personal growth.

This is a book I have heard others talk about for more than 40 years...and finally read it for the first time. There are a number of really good thoughts/concepts here - on love, grace, spiritual growth. There are also concepts that I would thoroughly disagree with and so I would say this: read with discernment.
The concept that is worth the price of admission: the enemy of spiritual growth is . . . (you'll have to read it to find the answer, and if you don't read it, you'll find the answer).

I enjoyed reading The Road Less Traveled as I felt as though the author, Dr. Peck, was an older and much wiser friend intent on guiding me out of my current pathology. The book is written by a psychiatrist and seeks to help the reader explore her life through her preconceived notions and definitions of love, the self and personal values. Using a gentle voice and clear examples the author grapples with profound life questions. For example, Dr. Peck addresses the ways in which each person's unconscious manifests and attempts to be heard by its owner. He states, the "way in which the unconscious manifests itself and speaks to us if we care to listen (which we usually don't) is through our behavior" (Peck, 1978, p.248). He continues on in that particular passage to relate that specifically in regards to a patient and how she "acts out" within her therapeutic process.

The author is obviously very knowledgeable about his particular field of study, but what I find so effective about this book is his voice within the text. In the book, I think the author does a great job using what Fletcher describes as “Voice.” Fletcher states, when people write with voice, “they put the indelible stamp of their personalities on the information they are learning-they make it their own” (p.80). Peck starts the book by acknowledging how difficult life is and the challenge people have in realizing this difficulty as not a unique experience. Peck states, "I know about this moaning because I have done my share" (p.15). This bit of self-disclosure done in the humble manner in which he does it continues on throughout the book. Peck shares his insecurities and moments of struggle with grace and honesty. If I were to utilize this text in order to teach students how to achieve a great voice, I would highlight all of Peck's honest admissions and urge fledgling writers to mirror that same vulnerability.

Đây là một cuốn sách lạ lùng. Một cuốn sách nói về tình yêu, nhưng không có chút lãng mạn.

Sách nói tình yêu không phải phải lòng, không phải quyến luyến, không phải lệ thuộc, không phải từ bỏ chính mình, không phải cảm xúc. Yêu là ý chí quyết định hành động yêu ngay cả khi không có cảm xúc. Yêu là quan tâm, là đương đầu, là dấn thân, là tự chế, là chấp nhận khác biệt, là dám liều mất.

Sách nói tình yêu là ý chí động lực để con người phát triển qui phạm - đình hoãn khoái cảm, nhận lãnh trách nhiệm, phụng sự sự thật và quân bình.

2 điều nhớ. Một là mỗi người đều có một tấm bản đồ cho riêng mình để tìm đường để không lạc lối, cần cập nhật để không "quá đát". Hai là cuộc đời là một chuỗi những chết đi sống lại của những cái tôi.

It was a compelling and insightful read. Definitely a recommendation, even for those usually sceptical about this type of books.

The most outstanding part for me is one talking about marital relationships and what does not constitute love. In times when the idea of dependent love is heavily romanticized, this really was a breath of fresh air.

Also, as an atheist, I find the author's definition and approach to religion quite interesting. It was, if not the most respectful and open-minded, then definitely one of most respectful and open-minded ways of presenting a specific topic.

Loy Machedo’s Book Review - The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck

It amazes me to know I had purchased the book when I was 19 years old without any knowledge of its contents or even an understanding of what psychology was all about. In fact even though my grasp of the English language was still in its infancy, the only driving force that compelled me to buy this book was the big bold red letters printed at the bottom of the cover ‘The Six Million Copy Bestseller’.

I picked it up assuming – if six million people had read it, maybe I should read it too. From a very young age, the thirst for knowledge and self learning were values I held very close to my heart. So this book had to be read.

The edition I had purchased was a rather old publication – printed in the typical rough wispy paper with a typical Times New Roman size 6 font - from an old Indian book shop in a village of Mangalore – South India.

It may humor you to know I even underlined words that I felt far exceeded my English vocabulary at that time. Words like ‘quirks’, ‘terrain’, ‘ludicrous’, ’slovenly’, ‘impel’ and ‘whimpered’. I would underline them and later on refer a dictionary to find out what they meant.

Such was the journey of mine many years ago as I had purchased this book. So reading this book after nearly 16 years brought back memories.

‘The Road Less Travelled’ a timeless masterpiece written by Morgan Scott Peck (23 May 1936 – 25 September 2005) is one of those rare self-help books, that debuted silently in the year 1978. It did not have the big fan fare, trumpet blaring, internet exploding and massive media campaign which we have today.

Simon & Schuster initially printed only about 5,000 copies and it was only after Dr. Peck took the initiative to send copies of his book to hundreds of newspapers and write reviews did the book finally sell a respectable 12,000 Hard Cover copies and 30,000 paperback editions.

That number doubled in each of the next two years, and in mid-1983, five years after publication, "The Road Less Traveled" reached the New York Times best-seller list for the first time. It has since spent 694 weeks on the list, the equivalent of more than 13 years.

Today his books have sold millions of copies around the world and have been translated into more than 20 languages.

This book in a nutshell is a description of the attributes that make for a fulfilled and balanced human being, based largely on his experiences as a psychiatrist and a person.

The book is divided into 3 sections.

Section 1 speaks about Discipline which he believes is necessary for spiritual, emotional, mental, psychological and physical well being. The key elements postulated here are the ability to delay gratification, accepting responsibility for oneself and one's actions, a dedication to truth and balancing

Section 2 speaks about the nature of Love, the myths and misconceptions of it being defined as a ‘feeling’ or being promulgated as ‘romantic gestures’. He brilliantly lets his wisdom and his thoughts permeate the into the readers mind by explaining his theory behind what true love is all about.

Section 3 speaks about Grace and the challenges scientific thinking, the god belief, faith systems and human consciousness operates on.

So how did I find this book?

The book lays out a blue print of balance between the human desire to seek answers while questioning the mysteries of suffering and pain. Where the book does not give easy answers, the author at the same time does not confuse the reader with grandiose terms and concepts. He masterfully simplifies the questions of the ages with answers that even a 19 year old like me with a poor grasp of the English language those days could find solace in.

The only drawback of this book is that, towards the end, in the chapters of grace, the theories and explanations appeal to the beliefs of Christians apologists and followers with well-intentioned yet futile explanations of the myth of Adam and Eve, the miracles of Christ and the biblical stories of the monolithic middle-east manufactured mythical god. However, one can presuppose that these were his beliefs and all said and done, it was communicated with the best intentions of helping people find answers in difficult times.

Overall, a well crafted, communicated and condensed book that will forever stand the test of time. I still believe this is a timeless masterpiece and I would recommend anyone with the innate desire to find the answers to difficult questions – to please read this book and feel the sense of balance and joy that I found by picking up this book many years ago.

Overall ratings - 7.5 out of 10.

The first about 2/3 of this book was fantastic. He goes into detail on some basic psychology concepts, and it was interesting reading about these through a more individual perspective focused on personal growth. A few points read kind of like a textbook, but the nerdy part of me that misses learning enjoyed it. The message that confronting problems in life takes work, love takes work, and therapy takes work comes off as reassuring and hopeful when framed as normal and essential to “spiritual growth,” and is something that most people can probably relate to.
I kind of lost him in the last part. He makes some valuable points about how everyone has a “religion,” even if not in the traditional sense, how many scientists’ approach of disregarding things that can’t be measured or don’t fit into current understanding closes us off from further exploration, and also pretty much predicts the discovery of cancer immunotherapy while discussing miracles. But he then connects everything to God in a way that feels unnecessary to convey the message he’s attempting to get across. Throughout, you can definitely tell this book was written in the 70s and he uses some offensive analogies and and examples. He also occasionally comes off as quite pretentious, highlighting the ease with which he overcame something in his life without making any note of the privileges he had that helped him do that or why it might be more difficult for others.
Despite that, it’s overall a great book that I feel I gained a lot from and is definitely worth the read.


“If someone is determined not to risk pain, then such a person must do without many things… all that makes life alive, meaningful and significant.”

“When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion - through the fact that for that someone (or for ourself) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful.”

“In any case, when we avoid the legitimate suffering that results from dealing with problems, we also avoid the growth that problems demand from us. It is for this reason that in chronic mental illness we stop growing, we become stuck. And without healing, the human spirit begins to shrivel.”

n  DNF @ Pg 223 (70%)n

Maybe I'll come back to it later but it's just really dragging for me and I can't be bothered any more!

I thought it would be wise, inspirational, mind-blowing ... it's not. It's interesting in places, but otherwise it just seems ... obvious?

The title is pretty misleading, because this seemed more about how everyone is messed up? Like, what road are you referring to exactly and who is travelling it? I am confused.

The subtitle suggests this is THE 'classic work on relationships, spiritual growth and life's meaning', but I disagree. I have read better.

This book spends 170 pages discussing the nature of love and how it is the core of everything we do. I mostly agree with that sentiment but I was bored after the first 100 pages of it. It's just repetitive and it's more information you just observe rather than do anything with. Essentially, it talks about how our relationships in childhood (predominantly with our parents) can set us up for all kinds of psychological disorders. Which is fascinating to a degree but it's not like we can go back and re-do our childhoods. The only way to fix these issues is therapy, apparently. I'm not anti-therapy at all, but the message got a bit wearying after a while.

So then I skipped from pg 108 straight to the 'Growth and Religion' section which was, again, interesting, but not exactly anything life-altering. It talks about how everyone has religion, even if your religion is having no religion. I was interested in the relationship between religion and science, but this was more interested in case studies and showing that god exists even when he doesn't. So I found myself skimming again.

By the time I'd skimmed my way to the section titled, 'Grace', I was done.

Nothing about this book is mind-blowing. It's interesting in places, sure, but it's not just the inspirational book I had hoped it would be. The psychology does interest me so I may return to it, but when I was expecting more this just ended up being a disappointing chore to read.

Overall, Peck’s work resonated with me. I was mildly surprised by the insight when he discussed challenging pre-conceived notions of love and what it truly takes to love. To sum this book up-we need to focus on being a person worthy of love instead of searching for love.

I also really connected with the multi-faceted concept of “discipline” in the way that it is described throughout the book: delaying of gratification, acceptance of responsibility, dedication to truth, and balancing.

It was hard for me to digest some of the “spiritual” talk and his connections in these ways, but when compounded with the ideals of love, this was sitting a bit better with me.

One of my favorite passages (p.83-84): “What makes crises of these transition periods in the life cycle-that is, problematic and painful-is that in successfully working our way through them we must give up cherished notions and old ways of doing and looking at things. Many people are either unwilling or unable to suffer the pain of giving up the outgrown which needs to be forsaken. Consequently they cling, often forever, to their old patterns of thinking and behaving, thus failing to negotiate any crisis, to truly grow up, and to experience the joyful sense of rebirth that accompanies the successful transition into greater maturity”. He then shares that although “an entire book could be written about each one” there are certain aspects (“desires and attitudes”) that every human being must “give up”:

-The state of infancy, in which no external demands need be responded to
-The fantasy of omnipotence
-The desire for total (including sexual) possession of one's parent(s)
-The dependency of childhood
-Distorted images of one's parents
-The omnipotentiality of adolescence
-The "freedom" of uncommitment
-The agility of youth
-The sexual attractiveness and/or potency of youth
-The fantasy of immortality
-Authority over one's children
-Various forms of temporal power
-The independence of physical health
And, ultimately, the self and life itself.

Wow! We must ALL experiences these losses. Minus a few given to certain life choices, such as raising children. This list was actually kind of refreshing to look over. (In a twisted sort of way?)

Although not written by Peck, but by Sam King in his work “To A Dancing God”, another passage has been repeating through my mind when thinking of the aforementioned list above:

“Mature awareness is possible only when I have digested and compensated for the biases and prejudices that are the residue of my personal history. Awareness of what presents itself to me involves a double movement of attention: silencing the familiar and welcoming the strange. Each time I approach a strange object, person, or event, I have a tendency to let my present needs, past experience, or expectations for the future determine what I will see. If I am to appreciate the uniqueness of any datum, I must be sufficiently aware of my preconceived ideas and characteristic emotional distortions to bracket them long enough to welcome strangeness and novelty into my perceptual world. This discipline of bracketing, compensating, or silencing requires sophisticated self-knowledge and courageous honesty. Yet, without this discipline each present moment is only the repetition of something already seen or experienced. In order for genuine novelty to emerge, for the unique presence of things, persons, or events to take root in me, I must undergo a decentralization of the ego” (85).

It gets four stars for the simple truth of the opening lines:

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

It amazes me how much damage I have done by expecting life to be something other than difficult and how much easier my life is when I accept that it is difficult and that I will be uncomfortable.

Whenever I finish reading to a psychotherapist, I immediately decide not to read for them any more since all they write about is already known, alternatively I seek novels, like Russian ones, Distovisky’s particularly who could deeply write about our inner feelings and fears.., then I slowly discover the benefit I unconsciously gained from reading to psychotherapists in my relationship with family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Scott wrote about his experiences with the patients, and shared their tales, ups & downs, and fears ..etc. which is very valuable.

I enjoyed reading the first two parts of the book (Discipline & Love), and the role and meaning of these concepts in our lives.
Scott believes that there are lucky people who gain self discipline capacity from their childhood, doing their homeworks regularly without guiding or monitoring of their parents. Which it is a clear indicator that they’ll be self disciplined adults, fathers, mothers ..etc. Who can easily bear the responsibility.

Secondly, Love part: Scott wrote about illusion of falling in love, and wrote: No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relationship continues long enough.


I always believed in this, although I’m engaged, and I always questioned myself, whether I’m prepared to listen to my partner in the rest of my life, as I already started exercising this stressful action (listening), because listening is a driver of attention. There’s no better way securing our relations than attention.



Then I totally agree with Scott when wrote:
Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present.



This part took me back a conversation I had last year with a religious friend who got married for 3 months before our conversation, he was trying to convince me to get married, to experience the happiness that he’s living in literally, I tried to end the conversation with nodding and smiling, but it didn’t work, So, I had to face him with my thoughts about his experience, I knew his experience is not a typical, since he never seen his wife before their wedding night, and all he knew about her before that is her name and maybe her age, and he’s happy with his marriage not because of a genuine love or found out that he and his partner are compatible .. etc, it’s because they decided to believe in their fate regardless of the results.

Scott, wrote about separateness and respect of individuality in marriage lives, and it’s not necessary that spouses have common hobbies, you could prefer reading and should not push your partner on reading, creating balance in our marriage lives is a success, maintaining separateness and individuality is a great success sustains our relations.


I feel that I’m lucky because I could read this book before getting married, as I’m planning for it. Since I’m suffering of Inner emptiness and the hunger to fill it.

Was quite eager to hate this book from the moment in the introduction when the author claimed to have written it with the assistance of God himself. But what do you know, 300-odd pages of straight fire later and all I can say is Scotty P may well have had some help from upstairs. That, or his housekeeper was lacing his peppermint tea with ayahuasca. Either way, grandmaster P has well and truly earned his stars with this one. A classic of the genre for good reason.