Andrew X. Pham’s Catfish and Mandala: A Two-Wheeled Voyage Through the Landscape and Memory of Vietnam tells the story of Andrew Pham, a young Vietnamese-American man who travels to his hometown in search of “finding himself” due to a conflict between his adoptive land and his native land. The book is based on a memoir that uses flashbacks during the war, when Pham’s family were imprisoned in Vietnam. However, escaping from Vietnam by boat, the family was able to start a new life in America. In search of Pham’s identity, he sets out on a bicycle voyage, facing obstacles and experiencing a sense of adventure, Pham tries to discover himself by comparing the American culture to the Vietnamese culture. Pham explores the grounds of Vietnam despite the guilt of his sister’s death, Chi who took her own life. The book examines the similarities of culture and family, which intertwines with the search for cultural identity.

A particularly memorable scene is early in the book when Pham tells a story of a starting family, Thong and Anh who lives in a shack in a back alley of a fishing town in Phan Thiet, Vietnam, struggling to support their first new-born baby. With no money to afford medicine, a doctor, or clothes to keep their baby warm, their little girl became too sick and eventually died during the night, not even a year old yet.

Ultimately, the story of Pham’s adventure in Vietnam helped him discover his true cultural identity, bicycling from one city to another, being overcharged for being a Viet-Kieu, and reminiscing about his family’s past. It all adds up to a tale of discovering one’s self, a reality check for all that makes us realize who we really are. Catfish and Mandala tells the story very uniquely, reminding us to stay true to yourself, an insight of never forgetting where you’ve come from.

During the course of my reading, not only was I able to enjoy the adventurous trip, but I was also able to spice up my geography skills, learning about the different cities, the history and the aftermath of the Vietnam War. As a Vietnamese-American myself, it’s shameful to say that I had no idea a city like Phan Thiet existed in Vietnam until I read this book. Following along the book, I had the chance to pick up the Vietnamese language as well as new vocabulary that I didn’t know beforehand.

From chapter to chapter, the bicycling expedition had me reflecting on myself. Catfish and Mandala had me question about my own true identity of whether or not I had lost my Vietnamese roots. To have the fortunate opportunity to live the “American Dream,” adapting to the English language was essential which made me forget my native language. Because of this book, it got me thinking of traveling solo to Vietnam in the future to regain my cultural identity, just like how Pham did.

I would definitely recommend this book because I believe it showcases a lot of emotional flashbacks and realistic events that everyone can relate to, especially from one Vietnamese-American to the next. Pham shares his bicycling trip to Vietnam to show his readers the country he grew up in, a place not only where he was born in, but where he came to visit to find his Vietnamese roots. The book gives the reader a sensational, imaginative ride to travel alongside with the author as each chapter is read, which, in my opinion, is something not many books can give to a reader.

This was a moving and engaging memoir. Mr. Pham is very skilled at vivid description and is careful not to over-sentimentalize the often deeply personal subject matter. He is honest about his family and about his own feelings in a way that is highly admirable. His quest to explore his own identity is something that many people can relate to. Although his situation is rather specific, the book deals with themes that are fairly universal. I would strongly recommend this title to anyone that enjoys being entertained while having your own judgments logically challenged.

I found this memoir last week while browsing in a used bookstore. I'm ashamed to say this was my first book about the Vietnam War from the perspective of a Vietnamese. Pham's is the story of a refugee's return to Vietnam in the early 1990s, shortly after the country became open to tourists. Pham, as a young man in his 20s, takes a bike trip around the country hoping to gain insight into his past and to gain perspective on what he has come to view as the dysfunction that is his family. From the first,he is dismayed at the poverty he witnesses and resentful of the people, many of whom treat him as a rich traitor--a Viet-kieu-- who deserves to be fleeced like any rich tourist. In exquisite, often grueling detail, he weaves these travel stories with his memories--of his childhood years in Saigon,of his family's escape,and of refugeee life in California. Slowly, buried in the daily grind of surviving on the road, emerges the story of the particular tragedy of the Pham family. Awarded the Pacific Rim Book Prize of 1999, Pham's memoir is among the best I have read, both for its courageous honesty and engaging prose.

I’ll give this 3.5 stars as there were multiple narratives going on that confused me at times.

After months of guilt over not making better progress in this book, I'm calling it quits on "Catfish and Mandala". There are two stories in this book, and like a lot of books with two story lines, one is a great read and the other feels like a slog through the mud.

In "Catfish and Mandala", there is a story about the book's author, a self-centered young adult going on a "rebel's" journey to his homeland of Vietnam. This story was far too bitter and narcissistic to be enjoyable. The author really needs to do some deep soul searching, and not just the surface level plumbs represented in this book. As a reader, I really don't care that the author ran away from home on his bike to another country as a young adult while trying to pacify the lack of control he felt as a child, and the author does nothing to bring me to the point of caring.

The author does, however, write very movingly about his father's journey to escape Vietnam with his family at the close of war in the 1970s. I only made it halfway through the book, but the father's struggles are enthralling to read. I only wish is comprised a larger chunk of the book. Because the book had those fascinating glimpses into another world, I bumped my rating up to 2 stars.

"When I was hungry or thirsty, I stopped at ranches and farms and begged the owners for water from their wells and tried to buy tortillas, eggs, goat cheese, and fruit. Every place gave me nourishment; men and women plucked grapefruits and tangerines from their family gardens, bagged food from their pantries, and accepted not one peso in return. Why, I asked them. Senor, they explained in the patient tone reserved for those convalescing, you are riding a bicycle, so you are poor. You are in the desert going nowhere, so you are crazy. Taking money from a poor and crazy man brings bad luck. All the extras, they confided, were because I wasn't a gringo." (5-6)

"[E]verything has a buyer, everyone is for sale." (104)

"'Forget this place. Go see the world,' Truong urges me. 'Everything has changed. Your roots here have turned to dust. Nothing here to bind you.'" (161)

"We are chatting amiably about the virtues of the house when our eyes meet -- a strange moment -- and we know we are holding a common thought: the transparency of our situations. Fate could have switched our destinies and no one would have been the wiser." (181)

"Grim-faced men in soldier uniforms laze in bars. I feel their eyes on me. People here do not wave, smile, or point as they do in Saigon. Northerners simply stare." (223)

"So, I let her interpret my half-truths. At this I am good, for I am a mover of betweens. I slip among classifications like water in cupped palms, leaving bits of myself behind. I am quick and deft, for there is no greater fear than the fear of being caught wanting to belong. I am a chameleon. And the best chameleon has no center, no truer sense of self than what he is in the instant." (339)

This book created a clear image of post-war Vietnam, but while I enjoyed following Pham's travels, I never became truly engaged with the book. Although the author constantly reiterated his deep and troubling ambivalence about his native land, his struggle failed to grab my heart. The book contained some scenes that were theoretically poignant and wrenching, but I just didn't think Pham's writing was strong enough to break through the screen of journalistic observation and actually convey authentic emotion.

Such a good travel memoir. Truly: writing, the perspective, the attitude, the honest observations, the family history. I was here for it. Pham was born in Vietnam in the early 70s and fled with his family to the US when he was 10 where he has lived since and now during an identity crisis decides to go back for the very first time. Not just that, he doesn't simply try to catch up with estranged family and walk the old neighborhood, no, he plans to cycle the country. After already cycling up the US west coast and chunks of Japan. Ambitious, and in between the now chapters of traveling and cycling we get looks back to his childhood, escaping the country and then his life in the USA at different life stages. A memoir about home and roots and family, also about traveling and journeys we go on. That's the book, and it was so good but I think I already said that but only because it's true.

Obviously, there is a lot of trauma but not just the expected, you know war and such, but also troubled family interactions. I don't know if these things are considered spoilers in a memoir but maybe for some it might be of value to know that he goes a bit into the fact that his sister was trans and ended up committing suicide. I didn't expect that here and for me it made for a richer life story.

Center stage has Pham's relationship with his Vietnamese identity. It's the classic (and sad that that's classic) struggle of being between the chairs: in the US he is often not considered American, now in Vietnam he is either mistaken for a foreigner or labeled a Viet-Kieu (someone who lived abroad and now returned). We see how he deals with the different labels and how he views himself, how he deals with the discrimination on both sides. Especially the attacks he faces traveling Vietnam were tough and surprising for me to read about (and yes, there was everything from minor comments down to physical threats). It was really refreshing to read a travel memoir that doesn't paint the country in question in only beautiful colors, he is honest and he is harsh and rightfully so. Given, this memoir is from the 90s and attitudes might have changed but he had a rough time there. And I found that so interesting, often with immigrant stories the old home country gets a very favorable treatment, here you'll get the whole picture which of course has beauty but also a lot of ugliness. One moment that especially stood out to me was where the police kicked him out of a hotel in the middle of the night because that hotel was only for citizens and he was meant to stay at a more expensive tourist place (for his safety, supposedly, yet they meant for him to cycle through a dangerous neighborhood in the middle of the night..). Yikes. He was often not welcome. Furthermore, he gives us unflinching looks at the poverty and Vietnam's struggles, he shares stories of how the bacteria in food made him severely ill repeatedly. The customs and traditions among people, for better and worse. There are some wild and sad anecdotes in here.

The writing is fantastic, observant with just enough poetic edge to give me that little extra. Pham has a recent novel, historical romance isn't my thing but who knows, maybe I give it a try because the writing here was so good here. He knows how to capture a moment and how to walk in the feelings in between, in the unsaid but felt. He truly went through the landscape AND memory of Vietnam.

4.5*

PS. I tried to figure out why I don't want to give 5* but stick with a super strong 4* and the only thing I could come up with is that this is written by a man, you can tell that here and there. Like, he points to sexist attitudes in the culture and in his family but as a man himself while disagreeing and criticizing it to the reader he can walk away from these moments a little to easy. Makes some mild jokes about the heavy prostitution in the Vietnam. I think a woman would have written differently about it. By no means did I find his writing misogynistic or something along those lines, not at all, it's just that little nuance where I know I would have connected more with a female writer and their additional struggles.

Andrew X. Pham spins a beautiful and heartbreaking tale through this autobiography and family biography. Told from An's perspective as he grows from a young, entitled schoolboy in Vietnam into a humble and respectful world traveler, this story delves into the importance of family ties, values across cultures, poverty, class and love. An travels by bike over thousands of miles from California to Vietnam in a quest to discover more about his family history since immigrating to the United States. A very introspective read. Recommended for anyone who enjoys cross cultural and personal analysis and discovery.

A gritty bike journey through the US West coast, Japan and finally, Vietnam. An (Andrew) bikes through all these places in search of himself, even though he is often more lost on his introspective journey than when he began. Interspersed with the tale of his travels are flashes to the past when he was a child in Vietnam before, during, and after the war, and as an immigrant in the US, ending up in Los Angeles.

An has a lot of self hate, and he seems to be searching for a way to like himself: if he can only find a reason to like the Vietnamese, he might learn to like himself. I'm not certain that ever happens, but he has a grand adventure trying.

All in all, very entertaining. I always wanted to know what would happen next and I found his ability to keep going despite his setbacks inspiring. I would have liked a bit more of an ending, but this is a memoir, so I'll have to live with reality.

An account of home and the importance of continually seeking self. Is it always necessary to visit a physical place for self awareness? Pham's writing is poetic and his depiction of self discovery is triumphant. In the end, though, he wonders if the trip was superfluous to the mission. Finding childhood vs coming to terms with its current state. Does that cause more damage? His return trip to the US felt like a return home to him which could seem like a sorrowful thing but one of honest realization. Would highly recommend!

I enjoyed this a lot. It reads well and there is plenty of interesting material, both in terms of stories and observations as well as self reflection and exploring what identity means. The author is pretty open in sharing things, even when might reflect poorly on him. It skips around sometimes, mostly that's ok and merely leaves the reader wondering what other stories lurk in those gaps.