“Avevo vent'anni, e prima di compierne ventuno avrei avuto il cuore spezzato.”

E questa è la storia di quel cuore che si spezza, questa è la storia di un amore. Quello dei vent’anni, appunto. Appassionato, assoluto, devastante. La scrive il talentuoso Ethan Hawke: è il suo esordio nella narrativa e lui di anni ne ha proprio ventuno.

William e Sarah si incontrano a New York, entrambi in fuga da una famiglia disfunzionale sprofondata in una qualche periferia americana. Lui ha appena cominciato a fare l’attore, lei è aspirante cantante. Il nome del locale in cui si incontrano, Bitter End, annuncia già quale sarà il loro destino.
La loro storia è anche il paradigma dell’amore giovane, quello che nutre, infiamma, mette le ali ai sogni e con la stessa forza poi li sparpaglia gettandoli via. Quello che brucia l’anima più di ogni altra cosa quando poi finisce.

La forza di questo racconto sta nella sua freschezza e insieme nella sua intensità.
Come scrive Hawke nella prefazione:
”Gran parte dei libri sulla gioventù sono immersi in un’atmosfera di nostalgia. Questo no. Questo è il libro che parla di cosa significa compiere ventun anni, scritto da un ragazzo che aveva ventun anni davvero. Qui stanno la sua follia e la sua potenza.”

Quindici anni dopo Hawke stesso lo trasformò in un (bel) film.

Ethan hawke is a romantic man. I know very little about him but I feel like I know this? I am a huge fan of his work, especially Juliet, Naked which isn’t even if most well-known. His voice just oozes romance and to read a book by him, I only heard it through his voice. I imagined him as William. He’s all I could picture. He actually writes so beautifully. I truly wondered if these were his real thoughts? I always like male authors for some insight into a mans mind and peaking into Ethans mind was a beautiful thing. Strange but beautiful. This book really ensured me that men are bad with their feelings. I feel like they can’t help it? Emotions freak them out. William couldn’t handle rejection well but a lot of it had to do with his Daddy issues. I felt bad for him. I don’t think I like Sarah. She would never allow herself to feel but I do agree the relationship became pretty toxic so it was good they ended it. Ethan Hawke has much more depth than I’d ever imagined.

temo che il problema più grosso di questo "amore giovane" ("the hottest state": probabilmente il fatto che sia stato scritto da un attore ha portato automaticamente allo stravolgimento del titolo, come si usa fare per i film) si chiama "mercoledì delle ceneri": perchè dopo aver letto un libro così ci speri che il resto della produzione del buon ethan sia allo stesso livello.
non è così, purtroppo: ma il risultato non è da buttare via, anzi.
c'è un aria da film giovanile metà anni '90 (guarda caso quando il libro uscì), tra storie sentimentali destinate al fallimento, famiglie sparse per l'america, vita da bohemien...manca giusto la colonna sonora, magari qualche gruppo indie rock minore, qualche cover di classiconi anni '70 e l'inevitabile ballata acustica (perfetta per l'ultima scena tra i bambini, direi).
lo rovina parecchio questa sensazione di deja-vu, ma al tempo stesso parecchie cose funzionano, e anche se i personaggi non sono esattamente simpaticissimi le vicende appassionano.
insomma: tutto bene per un paio d'ore di lettura che assolutamente non si rimpiangono, ma guai a chiedergli di più. proprio come a quei film giovanili anni '90 di cui sopra...

So I loved this book as an angsty teenager in the 90s, however even then something never sat right with me - the main character William literally rapes his girlfriend Sarah the first time they "have sex". I'm not sure why this is not talked about more (or at all?) with this book as it is written very clearly and explicitly. After a failed attempt at sex (he can't stay hard), they go to sleep. While she is sleeping, he starts to touch her - "I could feel myself relax. I kissed her neck. She was still asleep. I moved myself on top of her, pressing both her breasts against my chest... I placed my legs in between hers. She was still asleep. I kissed her mouth and eased myself inside her. She awoke." Pretty sure having sex with someone who is asleep is called rape, buddy. She also insisted on a condom earlier, and he's not using one. It's the first thing she asks him when she wakes up and realises what's happening. So no consent on either the sex or the lack of condom, but this is just a total non-issue for William, which tells you everything you need to know about him.

This book positions itself as a love story, but as an adult it reads more as a tale of a young man with a huge ego and need for control over women, and when he can't have it he struggles to deal with it, while painting himself as the wounded victim. After some pretty problematic behaviour, Sarah consoles William at the end of the book by telling him she's "not any fantastic thing", she's "just a pre-school teacher". She's no-one! She's not worth all his trouble! Ugh.

It's also incredibly pretentious.

It has sentimental value, what can I say? The book me and hubs were both reading when we met. And when we came to question each other about reading tastes, we both bashfully announced that we were reading A TOTALLY AMAZING BOOK, which we were a bit shy to talk about.

Yeah, same book. This book.

It's still pretty amazing.

3,5

Admittedly I read this to feed my Ethan Hawke obsession, as someone who loves his movies I was interested to see what his writing was like. I found his writing to be surprisingly good for an actor. I was hoping this book would be like the Before trilogy that he starred in and although I could definitely see some similarities this had a darker, less hopeful tone to it.

We follow William who falls in love with Sarah and we begin to see how all consuming first love can be and all the complicated feelings that come with it. I found William to be a hopeless romantic but also deeply narcissistic, I’m not sure if he was meant to be that way but that’s how I viewed him throughout most of the book. The relationship between the two characters wasn’t healthy despite how much William romanticised Sarah which made it feel like a true, relatable romance story.

I am looking forward to reading more by Ethan Hawke!

Interesting story of a boy and girl who compulsively get married, then their marriage spirals downward.

I loved this book. I've read it numerous times. I totally believe this is an autobiography of Ethan Hawk!
Highly Recommend.

Anyone with enough dedication could’ve written this. Maybe that’s why I kind of enjoyed it.

Unfortunately I couldn’t connect with the story or the main character very much. It was odd reading a romance-ish book from the males perspective, especially when that perspective is Ethan Hawke. It has moments that are too early 90s homophobic and harks too much on acting masculine during a messy breakup. The most enjoyable moments are the ramblings on life and growing up, the personal stories of family and finding your path. Luckily it was a quick read or I may have given up halfway through.

Bless his heart; he tried.