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I know that many of you out there haven't gotten around to reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Much like Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum, Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch and Lucifer's worldwide bestseller The Holy Bible, you own a copy, it gathers dust, but its never been read. You've been thinking about it, though. You see it there on the shelf and you wonder, "Is this book for me?"
The following checklist will tell you all you need to know about Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban's suitability for you. The more checkmarks you have, the more you need to tackle this wonder of modern literature.
1. Do you have Daddy issues? ✓ or ✘
2. Has a creepy middle aged man been sleeping with you for years, unbeknownst to you? ✓ or ✘
3. Does the full moon make you anxious? ✓ or ✘
4. Have you ever gorged on chocolate to combat depression? ✓ or ✘
5. Do you find there just isn't enough time in the day? ✓ or ✘
6. Are you misunderstood? ✓ or ✘
7. Do you have an overactive sense of justice that gets you into trouble? ✓ or ✘
8. Do you break rules whenever you can? ✓ or ✘
9. Do you scoff at personal danger, especially when it gets in the way of your fun? ✓ or ✘
10. Are you a dog lover, or would you like to be one? ✓ or ✘
1-2: You'd probably rather be reading Finnegan's Wake, The Book of Mormon or Sally Dick and Jane
3-5: Skip it and watch the movie.
6-8: Time to dust off that copy and give it a whirl.
9-10: Put your existential crisis aside. Shave your moustache. Take a day off work, and read this book. It won't change your life, but it'll be like reading about your dream self.
Do as you will.
The following checklist will tell you all you need to know about Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban's suitability for you. The more checkmarks you have, the more you need to tackle this wonder of modern literature.
1. Do you have Daddy issues? ✓ or ✘
2. Has a creepy middle aged man been sleeping with you for years, unbeknownst to you? ✓ or ✘
3. Does the full moon make you anxious? ✓ or ✘
4. Have you ever gorged on chocolate to combat depression? ✓ or ✘
5. Do you find there just isn't enough time in the day? ✓ or ✘
6. Are you misunderstood? ✓ or ✘
7. Do you have an overactive sense of justice that gets you into trouble? ✓ or ✘
8. Do you break rules whenever you can? ✓ or ✘
9. Do you scoff at personal danger, especially when it gets in the way of your fun? ✓ or ✘
10. Are you a dog lover, or would you like to be one? ✓ or ✘
1-2: You'd probably rather be reading Finnegan's Wake, The Book of Mormon or Sally Dick and Jane
3-5: Skip it and watch the movie.
6-8: Time to dust off that copy and give it a whirl.
9-10: Put your existential crisis aside. Shave your moustache. Take a day off work, and read this book. It won't change your life, but it'll be like reading about your dream self.
Do as you will.