یچیزی که همیشه سوالم بوده اینه که چقدر احتمال داره چیزایی که ما به عنوان نماد مخفی توی نقاشی، شعر یا معماری پیدا میکنیم واقعا عمدی کار گذاشته شده باشه و اتفاقی نباشه؟ ما اینجا نشستیم و داریم میگیم اوه آره؛ این حتما یه نماد سرّیه که داوینچی با ظرافت تمام توی این تابلو پنهان کرده و داوینچی ازون دنیا انگشت به دهان مونده که اینا چی دارن میگن ؟!
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خوندن این کتاب برای من جالب بود، به عنوان کسی که کاملا بی‌طرفانه به تئوری های براون درباره مسیحیت و کلیسا گوش میدادم میتونم بگم که حرفهاش منطقی به نظر میومدن. دوست داشتم کتاب کوتاه تر بود و خیلی قسمتای "اضافی" کتاب که شامل تکرار یسری حرفا بودن حذف میشد. جام مقدس نمادی از مریم مجدلیه ست ، راستی یادم رفت بگم که جام مقدس درواقع نمادی از مریم مجدلیه ست، حالا که بحثش شد باید بگم جام مقدس نمادیه که برای مریم مجدلیه به کار میره. We get it sir, let go

I read that it sold over 80 million copies ! Looks like it's an alternative history of christianity and the Catholic church didn't like it.

The subject matter was was certainly not to my interest.

I couldn't muster any enthusiasm and was bored quickly. I have stayed away from Dan Brown books eversince then.

Abandoned.

"الجهل يعمي أبصارنا ويضللنا
أيها البشر الفانون ! افتحوا أعينكم !"
ليوناردو دافنشي

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في رواية الكاتب البوليسي "دان بروان" الثالثة, والثانية لشخصية "روبرت لانجدون" عالم الرموز, يحدثنا عن الأصول التاريخية لوضع المرأة في ثنايا قصته البوليسية المحبوكة جيداً, والمرصعة بالأعمال الفنية لفنانين تمركزت أعمالهم عن هذه القضية

"الكريبتكس"

"جزء من لوحة العشاء الأخير لـ ليوناردو دافنشي"


ففي عالمنا الحالي ينظر للنساء نظرة دونية, فلا يوجد حاخامات يهوديات ولا كاهنات كاثوليكيات, ولا شيخات مسلمات
وهذا الحال كان مختلفاً تماماً في الأديان الوثنية القديمة, فقد كانت المرأة هي رمز الخصوبة والحياة, كانت المرأة مقدسة وكانت الآلهة نساء

ولكن متى وكيف حدث هذا التحول في نظرة الأديان الرئيسية للمرأة؟

"جزء من لوحة الموناليزا"


يعود الأمر, كما يحكي لنا دان بروان, للصراع بين الكنيسة المسيحية والأديان الوثنية في الدولة الرومانية

وكان آنذاك الدين الرسمي في روما هو عبادة الشمس التي لا تقهر, وكان قسطنطين هو كبير كهنتها.
لكن لسوء حظه, كان هناك اهتياج ديني متزايد يجتاح روما. فقد كان عدد أتباع المسيح يتضاعف بشكل مهول, وذلك بعد مرور ثلاثة قرون من صلبه
عندئذ بدأ المسيحيون والوثنيون يتحاربون وتصاعدت حدة النزاع بينهما حتى وصلت لدرجة هددت بانقسام روما إلى قسمين
فرأى قسطنطين أنه يجب أن يتخذ قرار حاسم في هذا الخصوص. وفي عام 325 قرر توحيد روما تحت لواء دين واحد, ألا وهو المسيحية

ولقد كان قسطنطين رجل أعمال حاد الذكاء, فقد استطاع أن يرى أن نجم المسيحية كان في صعود فقرر ببساطة أن يراهن على الفرس الرابحة
واتبع طريقة ذكية لتحويل الوثنيين عن عبادة الشمس إلى اعتناق دين المسيحية, حيث أنه خلق ديناً هجيناً كان مقبولاً من الطرفين وذلك من خلال دمج الرموز والتواريخ والطقوس الوثنية في التقاليد والعادات المسيحية الجديدة

عملية تشويه في الشكل, فأثار الدين الوثني في الرموز المسيحية شديدة الوضوح ولا يمكن نكرانها. فأقراص الشمس المصرية أصبحت الهالات التي تحيط برؤوس القديسين الكاثوليكيين, والرموز التصويرية لإيزيس وهي تحضن طفلها المعجزة حورس أصبحت أساس صورنا الحديثة لمريم العذراء تحتضن وترضع المسيح الرضيع
وكل عناصر الطقوس الكاثوليكية مثل تاج الأسقف والمذبح والتسبيح والمناولة وطقس "طعام الرب", كلها مأخوذة مباشرة من أديان قديمة وثنية غامضة
ولا يمكن أن تكون صدفة أن الإله الفارسي مثرا - والذي كان يلقب أيضاً بابن الرب ونور العالم - كان قد ولد 25 ديسمبر, وعندما مات دفن في قبر حجري ثم بعث حياً بعد ثلاثة أيام.
حتى أن يوم العطلة الأسبوعية قد سرق من الوثنين عابدي الشمس, ففي البداية كان المسيحيون يتعبدون مع اليهود في يوم السبت, ثم انتقلوا للاحتفال بيوم الأحد Sunday, أي يوم الشمس.


وأثناء عملية دمج الأديان تلك, كان قسطنطين بحاجة لتوطيد التعاليم المسيحية الجديدة, فقام بعقد الاجتماع المسكوني الذي عرف بالمجمع النيقاوي نسبة إلى مدينة نيقة
وفي هذا الاجتماع تمت مناقشة العديد من مظاهر المسيحية والتصويت عليها, مثل اليوم الذي سيتم فيه الاحتفال بعيد الفصح ودور الأساقفة وإدارة الأسرار المقدسة وأخيراً إلوهية يسوع المسيح

حتى تلك اللحظة في تاريخ البشرية, كان المسيح في نظر أتباعه نبياً فانياً... رجل عظيم ذو سلطة واسعة, إلا أنه كان رجلاً ... إنساناً فانياً
ليس ابن الرب, ففكرة ابن الرب قد اقترحت رسمياً وتم التصويت عليها من قبل المجلس النيقاوي, وكان الفرق في الأصوات يكاد لا يذكر.
غير أن تأكيد فكرة إلوهية المسيح كان ضرورياً جداً لتوطيد الوحدة في الإمبراطورية الرومانية ولإقامة القاعدة الجديدة لسلطة الفاتيكان
ومن خلال المصادقة الرسمية على كون المسيح إبناً للرب, حول قسطنطين المسيح إلى إله مترفع عن عالم البشر ... كينونة تتمتع بسلطة لا يمكن تحديدها أبداً

وهذا الأمر لم يعمل على وضع حد لتحديات الوثنيين للمسيحية فحسب, بل بسبب ذلك لن يتمكن أتباع المسيح الآن من التحرر من الخطايا إلا بواسطة طريق مقدسة جديدة وهي الكنيسة الكاثوليكية الرومانية

إن المسألة كلها كانت مسألة سلطة ونفوذ لا أكثر
وبما أن قسطنطين قد قام برفع منزلة المسيح بعد مضي حوالي أربعة قرون على موته, فقد كانت هناك الآلاف من الوثائق التي سجلت حياته على أنه إنسان فان
وعرف قسطنطين أنه لكي يتمكن من إعادة كتابة التاريخ, كان بحاجة إلى ضربة جريئة
فأمر قسطنطين, بإنجيل جديد وقام بتمويله. أبطل فيه الأناجيل التي تحدثت عن السمات الإنسانية للمسيح وزين تلك التي أظهرت المسيح بصفات إلهية وحرمت الأناجيل الأولى وتم جمعها وحرقها

وكان كل من يفضل الأناجيل الممنوعة على نسخة قسطنطين, يتهم بالهرطقة وكلمة مهرطق تعود إلى تلك اللحظة التاريخية, وإن الكلمة اللاتينية هيريتيكوس haereticus تعني الاختيار ولذا فأولئك الذين اختاروا التاريخ الأصلي للمسيح كانوا أول (المهرطقين) في التاريخ

ولحس حظ المؤرخين, فإن بعض الأناجيل التي حاول قسطنطين محوها من الوجود تمكنت من النجاة. فقد تم العثور على وثائق البحر الميت عام 1950 مخبأة في كهف, كما عثر على الوثائق القبطية 1945.
وقد تحدثت تلك الوثائق عن كهنوت المسيح بمصطلحات إنسانية تماماً بالإضافة إلى أنها روت قصة مريم المجدلية الحقيقية
وقد حاول الفاتيكان كعادته في إخفاء الحقيقة وتضليل البشر, أن يمنع نشر تلك الوثائق. حيث أن الوثائق تلقي الضوء على تناقضات وفبركات تاريخية فاضحة تؤكد بشدة أن الإنجيل الحديث كان قد جمع ونقخ على يد رجال ذوي أهداف سياسية تتجلى بنشر أكاذيب حول إلوهية الإنسان يسوع المسيح واستخدام تأثيره لتدعيم قاعدة سلطتهم ونفوذهم


إن الكنسية كانت بحاجة لإقناع العالم بأن النبي الفاني يسوع المسيح كان كائناً إلهياً
ولهذا فإن أي إنجيل من الأناجيل كان يتضمن في طياته وصفاً لمظاهر إنسانية فانية من حياة المسيح, كان يجب حذفه من الإنجيل الذي جمع في عهد قسطنطين
لكن من سوء حظ المحررين الأوائل, كان هناك موضوع بشري مزعج يتكرر في كل الأناجيل, وهو موضوع زواج يسوع من مريم المجدلية
والتي حسب إنجيل مريم المجدلية, هي من اختارها يسوع ليعهد إليها بتعاليم بناء الكنيسة المسيحية في حالة تم اغتياله, واعترض بطرس المتعصب للرجال, والذي كان يغار منها, بشدة.
وتحولت مريم المجدلية من سيدة غنية من السلالة الملكية, إلى فقيرة مومس في العهد الجديد, لكي يحطوا من قدرها, ومن بعدها قدر كل أنثى.

كان أحد أساسات الديانات القديمة مفهوم أن المرأة هي المانحة للحياة. حيث أن عملية الولادة كانت حدثاً سحرياً ومؤثراً
ولكن ذلك كان يتعارض مع مصالح رجال الكنيسة, كمحتكري طريق الخلاص, والتعاليم التي تمنح للبشر أفضل حياة. كما أن فكرة الأنثى المقدسة تغذي فكرة الآلهة الأنثى المقدسة في مقابل الإله المسيحي يسوع.

فقررت الكنيسة أن تسرق قوة المرأة الخالقة من خلال إنكار الحقيقة البيولوجية وجعل الرجل هو الخالق. يخبرنا سفر التكوين أن حواء خلقت من ضلع آدم. وبذلك أصبحت المرأة فرعاً من الرجل والأسوأ هو أنها ارتكبت خطيئة من أجل ذلك. كان سفر التكوين هو بداية النهاية بالنسبة للآلهة الأنثى.

قسطنطين وخلفاؤه الذكور نجحوا في تحويل العالم من الوثنية المؤنثة إلى المسيحية الذكورية وذلك بإطلاق حملات تشهير حولت الأنثى المقدسة إلى شيطان مريد ومحت تماماً أي أثر للآلهة الأنثى في الدين الحديث

ولم يتوقف الأمر عند الأنثى فقط, فقد قامت الكنيسة بتشويه كل رموز الديانات القديمة وشيطنتها

فالنجمة الخماسية رمز فينوس آلهة الأنوثة الحب والجمال, تم تعديلها بواسطة الكنيسة الرومانية الكاثوليكية القديمة لتصبح رمز للشيطان
ورمح بوسيدون الثلاثي أصبح شوكة الشيطان
وقبعة العجوز الحكيمة المدببة أصبحت رمز الساحرة الشمطاء
وبافوميت, إله الخصوبة والإنجاب, الذي يتمثل برأس خروف, هو تصور الشيطان ذو القرنين الحالي
وأصبحت كلمة بيجان – عبادة الطبيعة – ترادف تقريباً عبادة الشيطان, والبيجانز هم حرفياً سكان القرى, والذين لم يؤمنوا بمذهب معين وتمسكوا بالأديان القروية القديمة التي تقوم على عبادة الطبيعة. ووصل خوف الكنيسة منهم لدرجة أن كلمة "فيلان" أي القروي, والتي كان يوماً بريئة, أصبحت تعني اليوم الأرواح الشريرة.


ثم كان أكثر كتاب دموي عرفه تاريخ البشرية على الإطلاق, وهو "مالوس مالفيكاروم" – أو مطرقة الساحرات - هذا الكتاب الذي لقن العالم فكرة "خطر النساء الملحدات ذوات الأفكار المتحررة"
وعلمت الإكليروس كيفية العثور عليهن وتعذيبهن وقتلهن
ومن بين اللواتي كانت تحكم عليهن الكنيسة بأنهن "ساحرات" كن كل العالمات والكاهنات والغجريات والمتصوفات ومحبات الطبيعة وجامعات الأعشاب الطبية
وكان يتم قتل القابلات بسبب ممارستهم المهرطقة حيث يستخدمن الخبرة والمعرفة الطبية لتخفيف آلام الوضع – وهي حسب ادعاء الكنيسة آلام فرضتها العدالة الإلهية على النساء عقاباً لهن على ذنب حواء التي أكلت من تفاحة المعرفة, وهذا الإدعاء كانت فكرة نشوء الخطيئة الأولى
ولعلكم تذكرون أن هذا المنع استمر للعصور الحديثة, حيث أنه عندما اكتشف المخدر في أول الأمر حظرت الكنيسة استخدامه في الولادة

وفي النهاية أثمر تشويه الحقيقة وإراقة الدماء, وتم التخلص من خمسة ملايين ساحرة في خلال الثلاثة قرون الأولى


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و يبدو لي أن الحديث التاريخي مثل الجزء السابق من المراجعة, تمت كتابته كمقال أو بحث عن الموضوع, ثم أدخل عليها الحوار, فإذا أزلت تعليقات "صوفي", ستجد موضوعاً مفصلاً. وبهذه الطريقة أحسست بوجود نقص ما كان قد كتبه دان براون ولكنه اقتطعه لاحقاً. جزء عن حياة المسيح الأولى. ربما لم يكن متأكداً وربما أراد حصر ردود الفعل الغاضبة في زاوية ضيقة.

لقد قدّم الكاتب كتابه في أكتر صيغة من الممكن أن يرضي بها المسيحيين, لقد قدّم الكثير من قرابين المودة ليكسبهم في صفه ضد الكنيسة الكاثوليكية, التي قدمها وكأنها قد خدعت المسيحيين.

لقد قدّم تاريخ موازي, مخالف لما يرويه الفاتيكان, فما كان من الفاتيكان إلا أن أمرت المسيحيين بعدم قراءة الكتاب.
تعم, نحن في الألفية الثالثة وهناك من يظن أنه يستطيع أن يمنع الناس من قراءة شيئاً. وتتوهم الفاتيكان بأنه عندما تخبر الناس بأن قراءة هذا الكتاب حرام, فسيمتنعون عنه.
كما أنها تتعمد التزييف بأن دان بروان يتناول المسيح بسوء, والواقع أنه إنما يتناول الكنيسة الكاثوليكية الرومانية (الفاتيكان) فقط بالسوء.

"كثيرون هم الذين اتخذوا من الأوهام
والمعجزات الزائفة وخذاع البشر تجارة لهم"
ليوناردو دافنشي

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ترجمة الدار العربية للعلوم لـسمة محمد عبد ربه, جيدة وأمينة, وتحاكي أسلوب الكاتب لأقصى حد ممكن

در کتاب راز داوینچی، رابرت لنگدان که برای یک کنفرانس به پاریس سفر کرده، درگیر ماجرای یک قتل در موزه‌ی لوور پاریس میشه. مقتول، رئیس موزه، پس از اصابت تیر مدتی وقت داشته تا پایان زندگیش و این مدت رو به نوشتن رمز و کدهایی اختصاص داده و این آغاز ماجرای هیجان‌انگیز این کتابه. کتاب تشکیل شده از کمی واقعیت، اندکی نظریه‌ی اثبات نشده، مقدار لازم تخیل و مقدار زیادی هنر داستان نویسی. ه

I freely admit that my disdain for The Da Vinci Code is my own personal backlash over its popularity.

Dan Brown isn't a terrible writer, despite facing that charge from many experienced readers. He has a likable style, and he drives the pace of the book relentlessly, which is exactly what one would want from a pulpy adventure that one can take to the beach.

Likewise, the charge that The Da Vinci Code is somehow a failure because it is in any way inaccurate or unbelievable is unfair. The story is fiction, after all, and one should expect to have his/her credulity stretched, especially when reading pulp that is written with the screen in mind (as The Da Vinci Code surely was).

I even enjoyed the Sunday afternoon it took me to read The Da Vinci Code. It was an absolute waste of time and exactly what I wanted to be doing, sitting on a comfy sofa, drinking tea and reading about self-flagellating albino monks (and other fun things).

I've given many books that are just as good as The Da Vinci Code and even some that are worse three stars, and I meant every star. The truth is that on its own merits, I'd have given The Da Vinci Code a similar rating if not for a repeated experience that led to my backlash.

At the beginning of every semester, in a bid to get to know my students better, I play a memory game wherein the students provide me with their favourite things (books, food, music) and some personal details (people they hate, people they love, things they are proud of), then I connect something about them, something that stands out for me, with their name. It is a good start in getting to know the students, but it has also led to my hatred for Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code.

A good half of the students that enter my courses declare that they don't have favourite books, and/or they've only ever read three books in their lives -- two involuntary (both assigned by an English teacher, and always seeming to include To Kill a Mockingbird) and one voluntary (The Da Vinci Code). What pisses me off most is that even if these people liked The Da Vinci Code, Brown's novel didn't spur them on to read more. They read the The Da Vinci Code, enjoyed it or didn't, then went back to their reading apathy.

Moreover, if I could convince people to read one book voluntarily, one book for their pleasure, it would not be ANY cheesy, pulpy, low grade adventure story. It's like pouring a glass of $9 dollar wine for a person who is trying wine for the first time. They may enjoy the glass, but they're not going to choose wine as their alcohol of choice based on Fortant de France.

And for that reason, I hate The Da Vinci Code. It is the cheap wine that keeps people away from the joy of good wine, and while I admit that it is the fault of popular culture rather than Dan Brown, each reader I find who stops at The Da Vinci Code makes me hate the book a little bit more.

Dan Brown a identificat o rețetă de succes și a aplicat-o cu pricepere în acest roman. Rețeta l-a făcut faimos, i-a adus o avere. Dar nu l-a ajutat să mai scrie ceva comparabil cu volumul din 2003. Tot ceea ce a publicat, de la o vreme, sînt niște clone palide și lipsite de haz ale „Codului...”.

Să nu uit. A fost prima mea carte citită pe ecran. Cineva mi-a dăruit o dischetă (era pe vremea dischetelor, prin 2003-2004) care conținea Codul lui Da vinci în format zip. Nu pot spune că aventurile lui Robert Langdon nu m-au prins...

Dacă mă întrebați unde aș situa acest roman, voi spune că îl consider un „thriller evanghelic” :)

Believe it or not, my BOSS lent me this book. He said it was so great that I HAD to read it, and he pressed it into my hands. I said thanks in surprise, because that was about as personal as my boss ever got. well, imagine the awkwardness when I didn't really like the book. what do you say to the man who signs your paychecks when you think his book is nothing more than a creative version of what I call the man's romance novel--boring, average man (okay, in this book very smart--but not special looking) finds incredibly beautiful and often smart woman to follow him through thick and thin and all manner of ludicrous plots and danger for some unknown reason. It's just a religious conspiracy version of the Bourne Identity or any other book like that. What average guy wouldn't love to believe that a hot woman would follow him around, as he impresses and saves her from all kinds of dangers.
except I don't get much out of that myself, not being a guy, and I didn't think there was much to the whole plot of religious conspiracy, having majored in Biblical studies in college, and knowing how hokey and unrealistic some of this stuff is. and don't even get me started on weak arguments and faulty logic. (SPOILER ALERT: "don't worship Jesus because He was a normal guy who married a woman and had a kid--no, but go ahead and pray to his fully human wife who's DEAD!" yes, clearly a good argument.)
but, hey, my boss likes Jennifer Aniston a lot too, and she doesn't do much for me either. ;)

The novel that thrust Professor Robert Langdon, a Harvard symbolist into the public eye.

A great puzzle murder mystery as curator of the Louvre Jacques Saunière is found dead, he’s body posed just like Da Vinci’s - Vitruvian Man.
It’s a race against time as Langdon is accused of the murder, the story jumps around at a breathtaking speed with art and history being integral to solving the murder.

It’s a fun thrill ride that instantly had me hooked.

Although my own life is glamorous, action-packed and filled with easy money, fast boats and beautiful women (or is it fast money, beautiful boats and easy women? I can never keep that straight) -- although, as implied above, my life is filled with perfectly-fitted tuxedos, stolen jewels and mysterious aristocratic contessas who will do anything to get out of this awful party, dahling, I cannot easily imagine writing a fictional version of myself and making myself into a hero. Which is why Dan Brown is a gazillionaire and I'm still running a shoeshine stand at the airport on weekends to make ends meet.

If our footwear is any indication, society is going straight to hell. I could tell you stories. But that's not why we're here.

So anyway, if I were the landlord of a few billion dollars' worth of Italian cultural treasures, and savagely mutilated bodies were impaled on my iconostasis, stuffed into my spandrels, dripping gore onto the unsuspecting public and generally turning up at the rate of two or three per day, I might run down my list of folks who could help me bring this tragic turn of events to a close. (Flipping through my Rolodex): Let's see, how about Selim, the vaguely beige-colored fellow with a dozen passports, his own global overnight air courier company and whose rivals simply seem to disappear? Or what about Signora Fanicetti, my highly-placed source within the Italian version of the FBI? (Flip flip flip) Or even, it it came to that, Mike Tyson?

No, no and no. What this situation calls for, clearly, is a Harvard professor, ideally toiling away in a discipline that nobody's ever heard of. Bonus points if he arrived in Cambridge via Philips Exeter Academy. Perhaps he has a bitter bitch of an ex-wife from Sarah Lawrence, if all the stars are aligned.

This book is stupidity served in buckets.

I read this decades ago, and details are hazy, which is the best way for them to be.

If for some reason you haven’t heard of the Da Vinci Code before now, I have no help for you. I live under a fairly substantive rock, and even I had heard of this book to death. I had even attempted to read it once or twice, during my stint at Waldenbooks, but couldn’t really get into it. So I gave up, and decided to relegate it to the same place as Titanic and Forrest Gump—works of popular culture that I have no interest in, and therefore, will not partake of. But in a testament to the power of the feminine wile, SV convinced me to read it, and so, at the suggestion of Professor Mortis, borrowed a copy from my local library before setting out for the Thanksgiving holiday (Thanks to PG and Laurion for their lending offers, though I did not take them up on it.).

So what did I think of this incredibly popular, highly controversial work that sold literally millions of copies, spawned a movie, and produced comments from the Vatican itself? In a word, it’s bad. Other appropriate single words might be awful, atrocious, terrible, or abominable. Other similar synonyms can be found here.

The Da Vinci Code is a combination of bad writing, shoddy history, poor plotting, and unconvincing characters that blends together to form a barely readable work. The fact that anyone took this work seriously in any capacity is amazing to me. The characters are flat, boring, and none of them exceed two dimensions at best. The “history” is so riddled with holes as to be completely unbelievable to the semi-alert observer (my favorite part is the explanation of how the Church’s desire to destroy the “sacred feminine” is responsible for Orthodox Jews and devout Muslims barring women from certain rites.). And finally, the plot just makes no damn sense. Even the much vaunted puzzles are fairly trite, and usually explained so quickly that it’s barely worth thinking about. The final puzzle that the main character is faced with is so mind-bogglingly obvious that anyone who knows how to draw a Mogen David (Star of David) can figure it out instantly.

So the question for me became this: given how awful this book is, why the hell is it so popular? I can offer the following explanations/observations.

First off, Brown employs a clever (and I use the term loosely) narrative structure in which he ends every single chapter on a cliffhanger. This forces the reader to continue reading, hoping to reach a payoff or stopping point that is never quite realized. Thus the reader keeps going to the next chapter, hoping to finally hit a point where the story will relax, only to discover that the story never really relaxes. It just plods relentlessly forward, like the Terminator chasing Sarah Connor with a SuDoKu puzzle.

In a similar vein, Brown keeps his chapters short. In fact, I’ve read verse poetry that was longer than some of the chapters in this book (and considerably better written). This helps the reader feel as though they are making progress, because they’re suddenly on Chapter 44, and can reach Chapter 50 with only a few extra minutes of reading. Hooray for the short attention span.

Likewise, Brown taps into some popular political and historical fallacies that are guaranteed to make him well-liked. Namely that the Catholic Church is an evil conspiracy (Christianity is one of the few religions it’s still ok to hate in this day and age, after all) and the notion that ancient Europeans were all ecologically conscious, goddess-worshipping pacifists until the evil patriarchy destroyed their edenic culture. And hey, both of those are popular, if totally un-nuanced and historically questionable viewpoints, but shoddy history is always popular with the masses. The popularity of this book is proof enough.

Knowing that I’m one of the last people in the United States to have read this book, I can hardly imagine my recommendation can save anyone at this point, but on the off hand chance it can—don’t read this book. It’s a waste of time. At the very least, take it out of the library so you don’t put more money into the pocket of an author of questionable talent. There’s much better writers in this world.

Where I got the book: I downloaded the audiobook on my Audible subscription back when The Da Vinci Code was a Big Thing, so I suppose I have to admit I technically bought it. A Bad Book Buddy Read with Crystal Starr Light.

Plot: The Divine Feminine, mystical messages, the Knights Templar, Opus Dei, secret societies, coded paintings, you name it - Dan Brown packs a Discovery Channel-load of what he gets one of his characters to call "pop schlock" around a puzzle to be solved by granite-jawed Harvard Professor of Symbology (still makes me laugh every time I think about it) Robert Langdon, a tweedy brainiac, and French police cryptologist Sophie Neveu, who is touted as brilliant but who spends most of the time playing second fiddle to Langdon's encyclopedic knowledge as they run around Europe (in about a 48-hour time period, I believe) being chased by the Evil Catholic Church, the French police, and assorted other baddies. This Europe-wide clue chase has been set in train by Sophie's grandfather who, while being murdered, somehow manages to set up a ridiculously elaborate trail to lead our heroes to the Big Secret.

Confused? Remember the movie, where Tom Hanks spends 99% of the time with a puzzled frown on his face and the dumbest hairstyle I have EVER seen him wear?

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That frown is reflected on my face as I try to figure out how in the world this novel got to be so popular. I think the answer lies in the fact that if you just give up on any attempt to analyze what DB is positing, don't worry about the writing and just go with the flow, you get a page-turner that hurtles you toward the point where you are mercifully done with the book. That's what that second star is for. And there are tons of people who love all that esoteric-mystery stuff, plus the book came to the attention of a certain type of Christian who is very easy to bait into perceiving any criticism of any aspect of Christianity as A HUGE THREAT, and the resulting kerfuffle must have had DB's publicist offering up heartfelt prayers of thanksgiving.



Nope, I'm still puzzled. On my second time around I really paid attention to the writing, and came to the conclusion that The Da Vinci Code is a truly execrable piece of prose that manages to include just about every mistake wannabe novelists are told to avoid. I particularly love the way you're in the middle of an exciting chase-around and then the action suddenly GRINDS TO A HALT while Langdon launches into yet another of his explanations. And the bits where DB was obviously writing with a map of Paris and a guidebook at his elbow, so that you get turn-by-turn street nav and a guided tour of wherever they happen to be, down to the exact dimensions of the room.

And can you say plot illogicalities? And what about the Moving Body Parts ("Langdon's eyes followed her arm to the structure ahead")? And DB's cringeworthily bad understanding of British, well, everything, as personified in Sir Lee Tebing ('twas an audiobook so the spelling may be wrong, I personally like Surly T-Bing). The other characters, even those who should have known, kept calling him Sir Tebing (it should be Sir Lee) and even, at one glorious moment, "your knightship". And he put clotted cream in his tea... please see this discussion so I don't have to go over it again. Last but definitely not least, there was supposed to be some sexual attraction between Langdon and Neveu but any time DB went there it was as awkward as watching your brother come on to your BFF. There's something eerily virginal about Langdon which, I swear, manages to communicate itself to Hanks. Never have I seen the Tom look less attractive.



This is definitely not the best book to listen to as an audiobook unless you are very, very masochistic. The narrator has to do huge chunks of the story in a French accent and then there's Lee Tebing, who got a ludicrously overblown stage British heehaw voice in my version. Then there was the pronunciation of Louvre as LOOV and Tuileries as TOOLERIES but you know, I've got to hand it to this guy - to wade through a reading of this scab on the body literary must be quite the endurance test.

As a Bad Book read, it's superb. I had to stop about every two minutes in some chapters because there were just so, so many things wrong with this book. See here for the full roundup. I did, however, fall asleep in a couple of places, as I have done EVERY TIME I have attempted to watch the movie.



Finding the Hanks images has been about the only thing that's kept me going through this review. The success of this loose stool of a novel remains one of the Great Mysteries of the Age.

Every summer I tend to enjoy reading action and adventure thrillers. The genre seems perfect for the hot weather outside as all of the action builds to a heated crescendo. Last week I participated in a diary called the Pepys Project in one of the groups I am part of, the reading for pleasure book club. The diarist relays pertinent literary information on a daily basis to ones peers. It happened that author Dan Brown celebrated a birthday last week, and as I had never read his best selling DaVinci Code, the diary reminded me that the summer was a good as time as any to partake in this thriller.

World renowned Harvard professor Robert Langdon is in Paris to deliver a lecture about his latest findings in cryptic symbology. As Langdon addresses his speech, nearby at the Louvre museum an albino monk on orders from his teacher brutally murders curator Jacques Sauniere. These two events are not mere coincidence as Sauniere had been planning on meeting with Langdon later in the evening. As he lay dying, Sauniere penned cryptic codes to both Langdon and his granddaughter Sophie Neveu. It would be up to the pair to crack these mysteries before the church uncovered the secrets that Sauniere had worked his entire life to guard.

Once Langdon and Neveu meet up, together they discover that Sauniere had been the grand master of the Priory of Sion, an ancient society which believed in an alternate true history of Christianity. Sauniere left the duo a trail of clues to find the true resting place of the holy grail, that is before Catholic fanatical sect Opus Dei beats them to it and destroys the information. Through a intricate web of surveillance and bribes, however, Paris of chief police Bezu Fache believes that Langdon and Neveu to be guilty of Sauniere's murder. Ensuing, is a race through Paris and London to ensure that the grail and its secrets do not fall into the wrong hands.

Brown details centuries of religious symbols and information as he has Langdon and Neveu quest to keep the Priory's secrets safe. Along the way they meet a number of characters, never knowing if one is friend, foe, or double agent. As a result, the action is fast paced, intriguing, and even brain exercising as I thought alongside the pair to crack open the codes that Sauniere left for them. In a structure of short chapters and changing points of view, Brown created a story that grew more thrilling as it went on. This created for an entertaining denouement which read quickly to the end.

While it remains to be seen if the mysteries outlined in The DaVinci Code are fact, fiction, or somewhere in between, Dan Brown has created a fun concept that makes for thrilling summer reading. The novel grew to be an international best seller and later made into a movie starring Tom Hanks. Even though movies are usually not as good as their novel counterparts, Brown's thriller should translate well onto screen as it is all action. The Pepys Project lead me to a summer reading adventure, which I rate 3.75 stars. I look forward to Dan Brown's next installment starring Robert Langdon.