Since pretty much everyone I know has read these books, I figure reviewing them is pretty pointless. But with the new book coming out in a couple of weeks, I have to go through them beginning to end. To make the reviews more entertaining, I will be doing them in a variety of unexpected formats. For this review, I will be writing as someone who's just getting into Freudian theory.

From the very beginning, the true nature of this story is quite obvious - The Chamber of Secrets. There is only one "chamber of secrets" that is of any human concern, and it is no coincidence that the book of such a title was written by a woman.

By sending her young, immature male character, Harry (whose name, along with Tom and Dick, just happens to be one of the "universal" male names) into the mysterious Chamber, Rowling is exploring her memories of early childhood sexuality. The Chamber is filled not only with mystery, but danger and legend - its very existence is debated, which no doubt refers to the elusive female orgasm.

Ms. Rowling, whose sexual impulses have no doubt been unfulfilled over the years, is attempting to fulfill them by way of her own fiction. She has created a perfect sexual explorer in Harry Potter - a young, innocent and noble young man whose powers have not yet matured. Obviously a male that Rowling would feel comfortable with. This is especially interesting given the actual resident of the Chamber of Secrets - a huge, deadly serpent. And there's only one thing that a huge, terrible serpent can represent.

Rowling's sexual past is the fertile ground in which this book was grown. It is her cathartic attempt to win over the guilty feelings that she's repressed from her former sexual life, the one she regrets more than anything else, by manufacturing a hero. That hero, in Harry Potter, represents the type of man for whom she would "open" her "chamber - pure of heart and noble of intention and, most importantly, under her control. The vanquishing of the serpent-symbol is her victory, leaving her free to explore other aspects of her life, including the eventual resolution of the Electra complex that appears to have been built up around Professor Dumbledore...

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” CHILLS.

(REREAD)

Okay DUH 5/5 stars. I actually liked this book more than I remembered! This used to be my least favorite of the Harry Potter books and, while that still might be true, I was more entertained than I expected! I always forget how different Book Ginny is from Movie Ginny (way better all around) and how she has such a bigger role in the books than the films.

NOW ONTO HP AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN!

Currently reading for my children’s literature class :)

Re-read audio 2017 ♥

Okay, I'm going to do a little *spoilery* in this review so those of you that haven't read the book then you might just want to look at the pictures. I have picked a ton of pictures from the book but believe me, there are plenty more beautiful ones in the book. Plus, if your a Harry Potter fan you will be getting the book anyway if you haven't already!



So poor Harry is stuck back with the Dursley's on Privet Drive. And even though Harry is a relative, they still treat him like poo because he's magical. Ewwwwww.

Harry is depressed because he has be cut off from talking to his friends or getting any kind of correspondence. Even poor Hedwig has been locked in her cage and hasn't been able to fly around. CRUEL! But Harry can't use magic inside the muggle world.

Then Harry meets Doby - the little house-elf that is waiting for him in his room.



It turns out that Doby has been intercepting his correspondence because he fears for Harry's life and doesn't want him to return to Hogwarts. So Doby causes some problems at the house that get Harry in trouble. I had to add this cute little picture of Doby running off, look at his little butt. lol ↓



Then one night, Ron, George and Fred pull up outside Harry's window in their dads flying car to save Harry. It's pretty funny how they get it all going but that is okay as long as Harry gets away from his evil relatives.



Of course, Mrs. Weasley is not pleased when they get back home. The sneaking out part didn't work very well, but she welcomed Harry with open arms and he stayed with them until it was time for them all to go back to school.



I love that picture of the Weasley house =)

Life at The Burrow was as different as possible from life in Privet Drive. The Dursleys liked everything neat and ordered; the Weasleys' house burst with the strange and unexpected. Harry got a shock the first time he looked in the mirror over the kitchen mantlepiece and it shouted, 'Tuck your shirt in, scruffy!' The ghoul in the attic howled and dropped pipes whenever he felt things were getting too quiet, and small explosions from Fred and George's bedroom were considered perfectly normal. What Harry found most unusual about life at Ron's, however, wasn't the talking mirror or the clanking ghoul: it was the fact that everybody there seemed to like him

Poor sweet Harry and I would love to live with the Weasleys' for a bit =)

Look at cute, fat little Scabbers ↓



The kids are going to meet Hermione to get some shopping done. But ole Harry takes a wrong turn down the chimney hole and ends up in some creepy shop. He hides and gets to hear some things Malfoy and his father are talking about.



Finally Harry makes it out of the store and Hagrid finds him and gets him to the right place with his friends.



Then Ron and Harry are blocked from getting on the train soooooo back to stealing the flying car.



AND of course they get into trouble when they get to Hogwarts but it wasn't anything too bad.

Snape looked as though Christmas had been cancelled. He cleared his throat and said. 'Professor Dumbledore, these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry, caused serious damage to an old and valuable tree . . . surely acts of this nature . . .
'It will be for Professor McGonagall to decide on these boys' punishments, Severus,' said Dumbledore calmly. 'They are in her house and are therefore her responsibility.' He turned to Professor McGonagall. 'I must go back to the feast, Minerva, I've got to give out a few notices. Come, Severus, there's a delicious-looking custard tart I want to sample.'

There is a new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor named Gideroy Lockhart. He's a bit off but still . . .



Anyway things are not right at Hogwarts. (are they ever?) And Harry and the gang must figure out what's going on.

Poor ole Hagrid gets sent off to Azkaban for something he didn't do!



Malfoy is a jerk, as if we didn't know that. lol



Harry and Ron go out in the woods to meet Aragog the spider that is friends of Hagrid to find out some truth behind some stuff.



Comes to find out there is this diary of a person named Tom Riddle. I'm not telling you who this person really is but they are the one causing all kinds of trouble for a lot of people.

In the end Harry has to end up fighting a Basilisk to set things right. He has the help of the sorting hat for reasons, Dumbledore's Phoenix and a sword. Oh happy day!







There is loads more to the book then the things I have described but you can just read it and if you haven't, why haven't you? Harry Potter rocks and always will.

There is another happy ending for sweet Doby! ♥



Harry gives Dobby his stinky sock so this releases Doby. He now has his freedom from the evil Lucius Malfoy! Woot!

'Come, Dobby, I said, Come!'
But Dobby didn't move. He was holding up Harry's disgusting, slimy sock, and looking at it as though it were a priceless treasure.
'Master has given Dobby a sock,' said the elf in wonderment. 'Master gave it to Dobby.'
'What's that?' spat Mr. Malfoy. 'What did you say?'
'Dobby has got a sock,' said Dobby in disbelief. 'Master threw it, and Dobby caught it, and Dobby-Dobby is free.'
Lucius Malfoy stood frozen, staring at the elf. Then he lunged for Harry.
'You've lost me my servant, boy!'
But Dobby shouted, 'You shall not harm Harry Potter!'
There was a loud bang, and Mr. Malfoy was thrown backwards. He crashed down the stairs, three at a time, landing in a crumbled heap on the landing below. He got up, his face livid, and pulled out his wand, but Dobby raised a long threatening finger.
'You shall go now,' he said fiercely, pointing down at Mr. Malfoy. 'You shall not touch Harry Potter. You shall go now.'
Lucius Malfoy had no choice. With a last, incensed stare at the pair of them, he swung his cloak around him ad hurried out of sight.

This book is wonderful, it always has been and always will, and the graphics in this book make it even better. ♥

MY BLOG: Melissa Martin's Reading List

*Life lessons:

1. Don't trust too easily.

2. Unexpected grumpy people could mean everything in the end

¿En serio, Goodreads? ¿En serio me preguntas cuántas estrellas quiero ponerle a la edición ilustrada de Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? ¿EN SERIO? ¡Goodreads, no te alcanzan las estrellas para calificarlo!

A estas alturas de la vida, habiendo releído este libro más de diez veces, no tengo ni idea de cómo reseñarlo. ¿Qué no se ha dicho ya de Harry Potter? ¿Qué no he dicho yo sobre Harry Potter? Decir que es mágico se queda corto. Decir que es una experiencia increíble releerlo ya se da por hecho. Decir que los libros de Harry Potter son una de las mejores cosas que le han sucedido a la humanidad... vamos, eso todo el mundo lo sabe.

Sólo quienes crecimos leyendo las aventuras de Harry, Ron y Hermione entendemos ese sentimiento que nos invade cuando abrimos las páginas de uno de los libros de J. K. Rowling. No es sólo que volvamos a esos momentos en los que conocimos Hogwarts, en los que aprendimos a lanzar hechizos, es muchísimo más. Es volver a creer en la magia, es volver a ese momento de la vida en el que veías todo con ojos de alguien de doce años, es revivir cada paso del Trío de Oro ahora gracias a las ilustraciones de Jim Kay.

Releer Harry Potter, cualquier libro de Harry Potter es volver a abrir ese pedacito de tu corazón que aún cree que la carta de Hogwarts está por llegar, que diciéndole Alohomora a una puerta se va a abrir. Es volver a ese momento de tu vida en que te diste cuenta de que no había vuelta atrás, que las páginas del libro de una escritora británica se habían quedado grabadas en tu alma para siempre.

n  ALWAYS.


“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” n

Tom Elvis Jedusor... How can you take Voldy seriously when his name is Elvis? HOW!!!



Tom Elvis Jedusor... Jak můžete brát Voldíka vážně, když se jmenuje Elvis? JAK!!!!

Re-read 12/17/20:

Well, it's a good sign, I think, that my girl just started reading English this year and she has just now finished Chamber of Secrets with me.

And now, after getting good replica wands, our house robes, and a sizeable repertoire of magical incantations, we're ready to re-watch the first two films.

A family that fanboys together, squees together.

Please, no Obliviate!


Original review:

Harry Potter Re-Read with buddies!

It turns out that I didn't miss much the first time I read this more than a decade ago, but that's not an issue. I still loved the story. It helps that I've watched the movie a gazillion times.

Sometimes it's all about introducing a new generation to basilisks and evil diaries and old socks. :)

Sometimes it's all about hating muggles.

I hate muggles! Ahem. I mean, sometimes muggles really get on my nerves. :) And sometimes they deserve everything they get. Hmmm. I get the impression, sometimes, that I might have done very well in Slytherin. :)

But alas, the test has me firmly in Hufflepuff. I'm okay with that. Really. :)

2020 re-read

I agree with everything I said last re-read. If anything, I liked it more the fourth time reading it.

--

2016 re-read

4.5/5

Okay, so I have to admit that this might be my least favorite book in the HP series. But, with that being said, I still love it. It's impossible to not love a HP book.

But to be real, the spider scene is lowkey the scariest scene in all of the books.



Also, Fawkes is a very underrated character. He is so precious.

About a year ago I threw a tantrum begged Delee to read Harry Potter with me. She had never read it and I just simply can’t accept that. Because let’s face it:

.

Well, she inevitably,  jumped on the bandwagon with the rest of the world. I was so thrilled that she not only finally read it but that she loved it. It took her a whole year to get around to the next book, but she did and that’s all that matters. She’s already given this one  5 stars! AND we’ve scheduled our reading of Prisoner of Azkaban for August** of this year. I’m one excited Potthead!

Chamber of Secrets catches some heat from fans for being too much like the first one. But, I assure you it’s really not that similar. Sure, there’s our favorite trio once again keeping secrets from adults who could totally use that information. Sure, there’s something sinister going on in the school causing everyone’s feathers to be ruffled. Sure, there’s a Professor who isn’t exactly who he says he is.

But, this story is different. And damn it, it is FUN. I can’t tell you, now, how many times I have reread this series. What I can tell you is that every single time this one gets funnier and funnier. There was more than one occasion where my giggling fits caused the bed to shake leading to Jerrid’s disgruntled complaints. His grumblings went unnoticed though, for how am I to show any self-control whenever Professor Lockhart is in the room?

JK Rowling’s books are something truly special, something that will live within us for the rest of our lives. The quotes from these books are as engrained in our brains as our own names. I look forward to continuing this journey with Delee. I can only hope that there will be others that will follow her lead and give these books a chance when they thought them not worth their time. Trust me on this, if you’re not reading these books you’re making a huge mistake.

Just remember what Dumbledore says:
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

You’re my next victim prospect, Jeff. Best be ready, MahFah.

I do not really like J.K. Rowling, Harry himself is absolutely useless and can't do anything on his own, this school is way too dangerous for little children and Qudditch rules don't make any sense what so ever but maaaan these books are entertaining and just make me feel some happy feelings.


Ps: Isn't it kind of fucked up that there is a house that basically sets children up to become assholes?
Rowling definitely was too biased to make a realistic school system.

I read this all in one 8 hour sitting... I need a life