before I talk about my thoughts of this books, let me suggest that this book is not for the average parent, though if the average parent would read with an open mind, it would help. no, this book is primarily for Christian parents--and there's nothing wrong with that. I mention this truism because most of the criticism of this book is on the spiritual content (stemming from non-Christians, seemingly), and not on the ACTUAL apparent content of the book, e.g., bringing up boys. if you are someone who disagrees with the assertions that Christianity and the bible make about morality, homosexuality, the traditional family unit, male/female differences and strengths, and making religion the center of raising a child, then this book is not for you--even though it's right.

having a 1.5 year old boy as of this review, I found myself really needing guidance about how to raise him up to be a godly man and a good person. I had good parents, but probably not great ones, and I often feel under-prepared and overwhelmed when I think about what I have or don't have to give to my son. I am familiar with Dobson, and knew that this book would at the very least get me in the ballpark.

Dobson is a good writer and strikes a good balance of information as a psychologist, Christian, and father. sometimes it seems that Dobson only had an example because he felt like it fit within his book outline, and there are times when his stories or examples had nothing to do with the subject at hand, and he even admitted it a few times. that made the reading a little odd. the other thing that I have to say is that he seems to really be a "traditionalist" when it comes to the family and the roles in the family, and i'm not opposed to this, per se, but since my family isn't traditional (I stay at home with my kids while my wife works), I really wanted to hear his argument for this. but the best thing you get is that "the bible says it", or something similar to that. which is not how he cites everything else in the book. I found most of the book well researched, but there are a few times--like his traditional statements--which seemed really unsupported by reason, citation, and scripture, even though he SAID it was. most of his content is very good, and the general thing I took away from it was really just how important my role as a father is in shaping my son's life, and that I need to always be mindful of that and seek God for wisdom in what I do and say. but really, that's about the only thing I took from this book. I can't ding it for major flaws, but I will say that reading this book wasn't all that illuminating for me. most of it was common sense and only reinforced my beliefs as a Christian dad. I do recommend it, and i'm going to read more from Dobson, and will read the Bringing Up Girls sequel too.

I am 1/2 way through the book so far and I am really enjoying it! He raises a lot of good points that I think many people just honestly don't want to hear in this day and age. I am a working mother and I am not offended by he says and the message that he is trying to get across to parents. I read some past reviews and I think some readers need to calm down and just realize that he is writing through a Christian perspective and if you don't agree fine, but keep in mind his main point is to bring up good gentlemen...something that I see seriously lacking in today's society. I am very interested to read the rest of his book and I hope more mothers and fathers do. Good job Dr. Dobson! :)

Don't Read. In short, this book had very little to say about bringing up boys. Especially in the way of practical instruction. I found the book interesting in a high-level cultural analysis of the influence of feminism and post-modern thought in how we view masculinity. The book also had many interesting studies and statistics related to the importance of fathers, traditional family structures, etc. However, for a traditional family, already spending time together, there was little said about the unique challenge of raising boys. How to discipline, how to raise them to be men of integrity and character, how to balance their need for activity with the need for teaching them self control and restraint.

I found this book very helpful. I thought what he brought up was spot on about why these generations of kids are selfish, terrible little brats.

Kids act out & misbehave mostly because they want attention. They will take any form of attention (negative or positive) as long as it's attention from their parents. They want love, they want to feel wanted/needed/etc.

I'm only touching on this one issue because what he said was so incredibly true about kids now.
Parents now-a-days are too busy, lazy, etc to be involved with their kids. They would rather park them in front of the tv or computer so they can get their own 'me time' instead of actually sitting down to talk/bond/connect with their children. It's sad & it's so true & one reason why our country is going to hell in a hand basket.

I quickly browsed a few other "reviews" members of GRs left of this book & I disagree with all that they mentioned. They are obviously non Christians who hate anything that involves Jesus. Honestly, that is fine. However, if they want to hate Jesus that is their choice however, why pick up a known Christian author's book? Obviously James Dobson is a christian author & if you didn't know this then you should have done a little research. So because he IS a christian obviously he's going to be discussing parenting & how we as christians are supposed to be raising our children.

If you want a non christian's view on how to bring up your children then I'd suggest reading a NON christian's book, duh.

No where in the book did Dobson insinuate any 'hate' towards homosexuals. In fact, I was actually *surprised* how accepting he was of them. I say I was surprised because I know he's an older man who was brought up years ago back when homosexuality was more hushed & frowned upon. I really thought he'd be somewhat condemning of the lifestyle just because he is an old man however I was refreshed to see that he sees homosexuals as God sees them..with love!
It's the sin God doesn't like & He still loves the sinner. There was no point in Dobson's book where he came off as hating the homosexual. He was very gentle & loving when he mentioned how to help them if they wanted out of the lifestyle.
I'm sorry people but you aren't born gay. It's a lifestyle you choose to participate in. No one was ever born gay.

Non christians can think what they want and try to say otherwise but I'm a bible believer & in the bible God spoke of homosexuality being an abomination/sin. God didn't create sin so He didn't create people born gay, sorry folks!

Anyways, I would definitely recommend this book to parents who are christians or to non christians who are open to christian parenting/views. I thought Dobson had a lot of worthwhile things to say..especially about how our gov't is dumbing down society & why kids are turning out worse now than ever before.

Our public schools are complete crap & teach crap, most parents now are too busy with work or themselves to take an interest in their child's life & development & neglect them. The kids in turn learn from what they see at school (which is usually crap), mimic what they see on tv or in video games, etc. To me this book makes complete sense.

I'm surprised so many people gave it negative reviews & 1 star. This book definitely hit the nail on the head & really made some things I already knew but wasn't completely focused on more important to me & I know I need to take action on some things in how I parent my son.

Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson was in a stash of books my mom was getting rid of, and since I have 3 small boys I decided to read it. I hoped it would give some insight into the brain of a boy and particular ways I could understand them and instruct them better. I will say the book somewhat hit the mark, though I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it.

The book is written from a Christian perspective, and given that, I would have expected him to back up more of his advice with scripture. Much of the advice aligns with stereotypical traditional values, most of which I agree with, but he often doesn’t explain the biblical “why” behind his statements.

A lot of the book is about the dangers boys face and how the culture is getting darker and more and more liberal, which I already knew. It discusses the importance of spending time with them and being there for them, which again, I didn’t necessarily need to be told. Some of the stories and content seemed a bit like filler. The following quote summarizes the objective of the book well:
“Our objective as moms and dads is to transform our sons from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and men who are secure in their masculinity…. The primary mechanism by which these goals are realized is the application of confident leadership and discipline at home, tempered with love and compassion.” I got the most out of the chapter about discipline and work and honestly just reading that summarizing sentence above. Overall, I enjoyed the read and the book had some good points to glean from and think about.

The following are some paraphrases of sections of the book that I found interesting or helpful:

* Dobson talks about some of the differences in boys’ and girls’ brains and behavior. Testosterone is the big driver here. It’s a facilitator of risk, aggression, and ambition. Remember these are not bad on their own. They are actually purposeful. The natural traits generally dominant in men empower them to be strong in the tasks God designed them for: “to provide for their families physically and protect them from harm and danger.”
* I thought the psychological facts about how child neglect affects a child’s brain were interesting. The first 2 years of a child’s life is crucial to their development. Severe neglect and abuse can damage neural pathways and limit his ability to have empathy for others.
* Like girls and women, boys too often feel insecure about their bodies. Especially when a boy is small.
* “They need love, attention, and respect.”
* “We must never underestimate the distress that can occur in what looks like ‘no big deal’ to an adult, especially for kids who are already wounded from other sources.”
* “Boys, more often than girls, turn to antisocial behavior when they are backed into a corner.”
* Raw power and audacity in boys are characteristics kids tend to admire. This can be a motivation for bullying.
* Qualities to build in our boys: “self-discipline, respect for authority, commitment to the truth, a belief in the work ethic, and an unshakable love for Jesus Christ.”
* It’s very important for boys to be around men, most importantly their father, to learn how to be a man. It helps them learn to regulate their emotions too. 2 crucial times of connection to father: 3-5 years old and onset of puberty
* Apparently sons roughhousing with their dad is important. I’ve been told this by my husband and father-in-law, and I don’t get it, but James Dobson says so too, so… further confirmation!
* Quoted: “it is far easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” - Barbara Jackson
* Quoted: By profession I am a soldier and take great pride in that fact. But I am prouder, infinitely prouder to be a father. A solider destroys in order to build. The father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentialities of death, the other embodies creation and life. And while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me not from the battle, but in the home.” - General Douglas MacArthur
* Your words are important but your behavior they will remember more.
* Men are told they need to be more sensitive, and it’s not inappropriate for men to feel things deeply or reveal inner thoughts, but there is place in manhood for strength and confidence in the midst of a storm. There’s a reason for men’s sometimes tough exterior. They are able to be strong for those around them.
* Boys naturally have lots of physical energy. Get them involved in physical activities where yelling, tumbling, wrestling, etc. are acceptable to get that excess energy out.
* Physically touch them if you want their attention.
* Infant bonding between mother and child has effects in the child’s brain that last a lifetime.
* During puberty and around 3-5 years of age, boys tend to gravitate toward their father more. It is a healthy process of becoming a young man.
* The way you treat your husband greatly affects how your son will see and emulate him.
* The father can be a healthy “buffer” between mother and son when the mom wants to hold on to her child when she needs to let go.
* “The elderly slow down and stoop over so that they can see things as children once again, so that they can hold the hands of children who toddle along on inexperienced feet.”
* Understanding the competitive nature of boys will help you make more sense of him. Teach him how to win and how to lose gracefully.
* Organized sports - the goal should be teaching son to deal properly with his anger, disappointment, and frustration.
* Boy in general like books that are fast paced.
* Boys can struggle in school when they are forced to fit into a box they don’t belong in. Nagging and getting onto them doesn’t help them to “get it.”
* “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.”
* Kids will recognize it when you appear to care and be involved, only half interested and involved in their games and conversations. They need your attention.
* The first five minutes of the morning determine how a mother will interact with her children that day. In the same way that the first words a husband speaks to his wife will influence the whole evening.
* It is important not to let the sun go down on our anger with our children. Good to count to 10 before responding sometimes.
* Boys need structure, supervision, and to be civilized.
* Discipline tips: be confident and speak with authority but not anger. Give expectations beforehand.
* Teach boys to work. To live responsibly and have a sense of mission help boys see themselves as men. It helps prepare them to provide for and protect their families.
* Giving a child a job is a great way to teach him about money.
* About money: God owns it all. Every spending decision is a spiritual decision. There is always a trade off between time and effort. There will never be enough money for everything you’d like to buy or do. Delayed gratification is the key to financial maturity.
* “The secret to successful living is to spend your life on something that will outlast it.” … Heb 13:5
* Our objective as moms and dads is to transform our sons from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and men who are secure in their masculinity…. The primary mechanism by which these goals are realized is the application of confident leadership and discipline at home, tempered with love and compassion.”

This book made me uncomfortable. Dobson's positions as put forth in this book are too conservative and polarizing for my taste. I believe it is possible to raise responsible boys in a Christian way both within and without the stereotypical two-parent, suburban, picket-fence family structure. Dobson apparently does not agree.

When I saw this book I was intrigued by the title since I have four boys. I started to get rubbed the wrong way when the author spoke of gender roles in the family, where the dad is supposed to be the main support/bread winner and the mom is supposed to be Susie homemaker. The very hard stop came for me when the author suggested that homosexuality is a disorder that can be prevented. I will never understand how people can claim to be religious and followers of God but not be accepting of every human being. I would give this book a negative score if I could.

I'm due to have my first child, a son, in 4 days. Reading this book was encouraging and heartening in the face of such a confusing and upsetting social climate. I highly suggest it to anyone who believes in Gods word and is a follower of Jesus Christ.

A good book to have while bringing up boys. The first 2 chapters are the reason why I bought the book initially - lots of testimony why bringing up boys is more energy-sapping than girls. Horrifying funny haha. Take this for example:

"When they (Dobson's uncles) were only three years old, my grandmother was shelling beans for the night meal. As my grandfather left for work, he said within hearing distance of the children, 'Don't let the kids put those beans up their noses.' Bad advice! As soon as their mom's back was turned, they stuffed their nasal passages with beans. It was impossible for my grandmother to get them out, so she left them there. A few days later, the beans began to sprout. Little green shoots were actually growing out their nostrils. A family doctor worked diligently to dig out the tiny plants one piece at a time."

After these two "lighter" chapters, Dobson went into why boys need attention (he wrote another book for bringing up girls later) and what are the roles the father, mother, grandparents, single parent and teacher play in the growth of boys. Chapters were also written on the challenges of homosexuality, feminism, postmodernism, lust etc. Every Christian parent should read this book.

This is a very dangerous book for mothers and fathers of boys. There is puntitive parenting tactics and worse there are scare tactics and unproven theories used to promote detaching of young children from their mother's. PLEASE, if you do read this book, read it as an opportunity to educate yourself against the Christian movement towards puntitive discipline, control and breaking of a child's spirit. I have lost all respect for Dr. Dobson after reading this book. Parts of it are so disgusting to my thoughts of gentle, graced based discipline and attachment parenting it made me physically sick.

I've grown up listening to Dr Dobson and Focus on the Family. I have respect for Dobson's desire to help people build stronger, healthier families and to point them to God as the source of wisdom and strength to accomplish this. I borrowed this book from my local library interested in what advice he would have for parents raising boys.

I was disappointed in the proportion of dialogue about what Dobson sees as being wrong in the current U.S. culture and how it came about to practical advice for parenting boys that is often effective with boys specifically. While I don't agree with all of his advice, I appreciated the parts where Dobson addressed particular issues and gave reasoned advice. I was surprised by Dobson's advice concerning the topic of sex and masturbation that doesn't quite tow the Christian conservative typical view. His advice is well reasoned and aims to inform and strengthen boys rather than shame them for having sexual feelings and thoughts as teenagers.

For a number of years I've understood Dobson to promote the idea that the United States is God's country and we need to reclaim it for Him again. I hear this message a lot in this book, whether it be how different factions and movements have taken our culture away from God and His ways. He cites these factions and movements as being the source of ailments in our society today. The cure, it seems, is to get our society back to doing things God's way. Personally, I disagree with Dobson in this philosophical view. I think Dobson would have done well to point out what he sees in culture as being detrimental to boys and give reasoned advice to parents on ways to counter these ills rather than spending so much time recounting where he sees these detriments beginning and who is to blame for them. The result is a book that seems to spend as much time, or maybe even more, blaming and stewing like a losing team rather than presenting a positive game plan for winning.

Lastly, I am unabashedly a gentle parenting advocate and I struggle with emphasizing particular behavior over addressing what behavior communicates motivation and respect, or lack of it, to others and God. In this book, there are a number of quotes and advice that seem to lean this direction. Dobson even reminds parents that love cannot exist without freedom. However, he still advises discipline based on punishment and rewards system rather than natural consequences and teaching behavior correction to influence motivation.

So why three stars with all these disappointments? The book got me thinking, for one. But there are a number of golden nuggets that I believe address motivation and address questions common to boys. I think that if a reader can look past Dobson's described desire to return to what families looked like in the 1940s and can use the practical advice to let boys be boys without shaming them, forward progress is made. If the reader cannot look past this, then I would recommend something less political and more practical than recreating a past that probably wasn't quite as fantastic as advertised.

Review revisited:
After sleeping on my review, there are some other issues with this book that continue to bother me. Even considering the respect I've had in the past for Dr Dobson, the reality of a number of perspectives and some of the advice don't add up. In some cases the illustrations and advice seem to contradict arguments made in other places in the book.

While I believe he means well, the overall tone of the book could be summed up as, "Let's go back to the good old days" The big problem with this theme is blaming for society's ills and an unwillingness to concede that some changes in the past 60 years have been for the better. Some arguments go in the wrong direction and as I think more on them are not helpful at all to a 2015 audience. That said, there are still some good quotes and thoughts shared in the book.

My audiobook expired so I cannot look over my notes right now. Here is an informal review based on what I remember.

The writing style is dated and cringey. I always dislike slang in nonfiction, especially when the author is just trying to sound cool. Example: Using “ain’t” for emphasis.

I was very disappointed in the stereotypes he used to distinguish between boys and girls, mainly at the beginning of the book: girls are careful/thoughtful, boys are rough/reckless. This is the opposite of my children.

I remember thinking that the book improved some as it went on. I liked the parts about brains, but not sure if he used studies accurately and many of these studies would be dated now. I liked the emphasis on having a relationship with your children. I agree that it is extremely important to protect children from crud on the internet that has only gotten worse since this book was written.

I disliked the punishment stuff. He supports using fear and separation which I completely disagree with. He has another book about discipline so doesn’t go into detail here. There was an anecdote about a mom and child in the store, where mom threatens to spank the child when they got home, and Dobson praises her for it. It made me feel sick.

I was also surprised that there wasn’t more information or guidance about guiding boys through puberty. I think there was some but it wasn’t as extensive as I had expected.

Overall I didn’t find the book very practical for daily life. He rarely offered specific examples of conversations or phrases to use with your son. I recently reread Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr Laura Markham (highly recommend) which is full of examples and "scripts."

Overall, dated and impractical. Do not recommend.