My full review can be found at http://thisfelicitouslife.wordpress.com.

If I were to give advice for a first-time mom it would be

Don't listen to any advice, but
If you have to listen to advice, listen to mine, and my advice is
Don't read any parenting books, but
If you have to read a parenting book, read this one!

When Girl 1 was born, I read lots of Dr. Sears and La Leche League and (worst of all) Parents magazine. I went around in a sleep-deprived, raging hormone-induced fog of Mommy Guilt. If my baby wanted to suckle 24/7 I worried that I should nurse her 24/7, even though she was happy enough with the pacifier. If she fussed after 5 minutes in the swing or bouncy seat, maybe I wasn't holding her enough. Maybe I should have given her baby massages and played more This Little Piggy with her. Maybe I should have carried her around in a sling all the time, and it was selfish of me to want to put her down for 10 minutes here or there to make dinner or take a shower. If my priorities were in place maybe I wouldn't care about such trifling matters. Shame, shame, shame.

Oh how I wish I had read this book instead.

The Three-Martini Playdate, by Christie Mellor, makes some simple points in a very humorous way: Learn to say "No" to your child. Don't allow your child to become a brat. It's okay to have some time to yourself and tell your child, "Go Play" or "Go to bed." Your child will be better off in the long run if you disabuse him of the notion that he is the center of the universe. While you're at it, teach him how to mix up a martini for you and your friends. Ms. Mellor is basically a funny, cocktail-fixated Dr. Dobson.



The basic premise of The Three-Martini Playdate is valid at any stage: you do not need to be a slave to your child to be a good parent. I find this particularly compelling after reading about a study by the University of California on child-rearing practices of the American middle class. The study found that American middle-class families tend to be "child-centered" and "raise [children] to be relatively dependent, even when the kids have the skills to act on their own." In contrast, young children in other societies are "expected to contribute substantially to the community," which in some cultures even includes serving food to their elders and waiting to eat until their parents are finished!!! Can you imagine? Perhaps Ms. Mellor is right on in suggesting that we teach our children to make us martinis!

In addition to her martini tutorials, Ms. Mellor intersperses her child-rearing wisdom with other humorous and clearly tongue-in-cheek asides. For instance, to have your cooking appreciated: invite a Southern bachelor over for dinner!

Southern bachelors are ideal, as they are unfailingly polite even after having polished off a third of the Maker's Mark, and they are often eccentric, which makes them wonderful dining companions. . . . Your bachelor may ask for seconds, and even thirds. He will ask of your spouse, "Do you always get to eat this well?" in that sweet little drawl. He will ooh and aah, and eagerly gobble up whatever you put in front of him.

Too fun.

My post here probably needs two quick disclaimers:

Every child needs to know he is loved, to be nurtured, to feel that he is secure. Far too many adults take a parents-first approach too far and neglect or even abuse their children. But you know what? Those aren't the people who read parenting books!
If you take an attachment parenting/ child-centric approach and it works for you, that's great. If there's one thing I've learned in four years in the crazy game called parenting it's that each child and each family is unique. Some kids need chocolate-covered coffee beans; some need Benadryl. As long as you raise your child to do their duty to God and neighbor and vote Republican (kidding!), that's cool with me.
No matter what route you take, though, you should read this book. It will make you laugh.

Very cute take on parenting. Practical indeed. Despite the humorous and insincere undertones, there is a lot of important information shared in this book. An easy read for all parents (perhaps with a chilled drink in hand!)

The most hilarious tongue-in-cheek parenting book I have ever seen. Funny, yes, but still imparting good and solid advice to avoid the 'precious angel' syndrome that afflicts so many new parents these days.

Chapters include:

Bedtime: Is Five-thirty too Early?
Child Labor: Not Just for the Third World.
Self-Esteem and Other Overrated Concepts.

A super quick little read. I loved it!

For those of us sick of hearing about things like "attachment parenting" and "kindergarten readiness."

Breezy and refreshing with a surprising amount of commonsense advice- put your kids to bed early and at a consistent time! It's ok to say 'no!' Don't cook 3 different meals, children aren't going to starve themselves. The humor is going to be completely missed by helicoptering alpha-parents, guilt-ridden moms stressed out by reading too many parenting books (been there) and people that put locks on their toilet lids (nope, never did that one and she never fell in the toilet).

While I am not much of a drinker, I found Mellor's parenting advice in most other respects spot on. The title of her first book, Hey Kids! We Were Here First! gives a clearer picture of her parenting style than the title of this one, but many of the principles are doubtless the same. Principle one: children will one day become adults, so parents should start teaching them behaviors and qualities that will be becoming in adults at an early age. Principle 2two: The world does not revolve around the child, and he should get used to that fact.

'The Three-Martini Playdate' is a 143 page guide to happy parenting interspersed with recipes for alcoholic drinks (lemonade for adults) that implores parents to right the balance, resist kindergarchy, and take your life back. It can easily be read in one setting and has a few good words of advice for parents:

1) Child Labor: Not just for the Third World - Kids can clear the table, clean a bathroom, and vacuum a floor.
2) Learn to say No firmly--nothing is more embarassing and wrong than a toddler screaming and kicking his parent at the grocery store.
3) The Childproof House has gone too far when your guests can't use the toilet because the toilet seat has a restraint system--little Johnny can learn not to put his head in the toilet.
4) Just once put down the camera or smart-phone at your child's Christmas program and experience the moment.
5) Just cook one meal. Kids should eat what their parents eat (why are we making an additional butter noodle dish?.
6) Children need to learn self esteem by losing, failing. Mellor thinks Bumpers in the bowling Alley are the most egregious example.."Children never truly understand the heartbreak of a gutter bowl or the true excitement of real strike (not one that has carooned off three bumpers.)"

This book has a captivating title and is worth less than an hour of your life. I'm proud to say I've got #6 down; my 10 year daugter Amelia is learning lots of self esteem as her soccer coach this year with AYSO our record is 0 wins, 7 losses, and 1 tie.

2 stars.

No, I haven't started drinking martinis. (Although there are days...) This is a satirical take on a classic fifties-era parenting manual. Even though she's clearly joking (right?) when she lists ways kids can make themselves useful, such as making a perfect martini or polishing the silver, the author's larger point is that parents shouldn't abandon all adult privileges and let their child rule the world. A sentiment I agree with, although parts of her advice ("simply tell your child to stop screaming") are easier said than done. Still, it's hilarious. My favorite chapters are "Screaming: Is It Necessary?"; "Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early?" and "Children's Music: Why?"

An interesting sense if humor book. Some chapters were silly, yet thought-provoking, others were skipped as unhelpful. I want to make note of the music that is mentioned to introduce your child to.

I would give this book ten stars if I could. Is there a better title ON EARTH than Three Martini Playdate? This book delivers big on political incorrectness, snark, irreverence and actual advice worthy of following - to a degree. Its tongue-in-cheek for the most part, yes. But in the end the message is an important one: One day, you'll wake up and your kid will be getting his own cereal and won't need you to drive him anywhere. Will you still have a life? Helicopter parents, brace yourselves: this book does not paint a pretty picture of you.

The gist: don't let your kids run your life. A hilarious read, as I am a fan of super-martini-dry-humor. I almost woke my kids up because I was laughing...and I would have just told them to go back to bed, because that's what Christie Mellor would advise me to do, I'm sure. ;)

Oh Robin, thank you! I haven't even read this book yet and I can already tell I'm going to love it (especially with the overwhelming imbalance I have been feeling lately). I'm going to go try to find this book right now. :) FOUND IT TODAY at Elliott Bay Book Company (they didn't even have to look it up). Cannot wait!!!