3.5 solid stars.

I must mention that I watched the movie first, which gave me a decent understanding of the story. Cate Blanchett's performance truly impressed me, and it was this movie that actually inspired me to pick up the book.

The story isn't entirely novel. Sheba is a beautiful, intelligent, and kind woman. She is happily married and has children. Her son has Down's syndrome, but this seems to only strengthen their family and make them cherish each other even more. Sheba is an artist, but her work as an art teacher at school leaves her feeling somewhat unfulfilled. Sheba gets to know Barbara, whose diary narrates the entire story. Barbara is close to retirement, quite lonely, yet Barbara and Sheba become very good friends. Barbara always has an opinion or advice, and Sheba, with her creative and dreamy self, is quite entertaining for Barbara.

Alongside this, Sheba becomes the center of attention of one of her students, Steven Connolly. After being married for many years and completely consumed by her mother-wife duties, Sheba is both amused and flattered by Steven's pursuit. At first, simply entertained by his demeanor, Sheba finds herself drawn to Connolly. His awkward and naive insistence awakens a woman, a lover, in the sleepy routine of Sheba's life. What else was there: curiosity, the desire for some kind of impulse, novelty, calamity? Or was it the desire for love?

Whatever prompted Sheba into her affair with Connolly, it swept away all boundaries. Sheba confesses to Barbara about her affair, and Barbara, as the wiser and older friend, advises Sheba to come to her senses and end the affair. But Sheba finds it impossible to do so and continues.

Just as much as the subject of Sheba's affair is the subject of Barbara's diary, her friendship with Barbara is also a central part of the story. It develops somewhat in parallel, and both lines raise similar questions. Just as Sheba's affair begs the questions: what is it? Is it real, is it valid, can it overcome the differences? The same can be asked about Barbara and Sheba's relationship: is it a real friendship? Is Barbara's care for Sheba genuine? Or is it just an emotional shake-up to fill the gaps in Barbara's empty and lonely life? Is it the pursuit of something that only became possible because both women feel unfulfilled and lonely in some ways and have the need to fill that emptiness inside?

The outcome of both is rather sad. Neither relationship passes the test of time and exposure. Although the ending suggests some sort of reconciliation between Sheba and Barbara, it makes it obvious that the bond is forged by circumstances rather than true feelings, care, or interests. It also delves into the debate of morals and obligations, into the realm of "what ifs". What makes our lives "boring"? When does happiness and bliss turn into a rut? When feelings go awry, are they still feelings or do they transform into some other substance of dependency, possession, and emotional instability?

I quite enjoyed Heller's writing. It has an easy flow, and she created a very believable portrayal of Barbara as the source of information and the ultimate narrator. Having seen the movie before reading the book, I felt that the movie created a much richer and more detailed picture while still maintaining Barbara's "voice" and manner of telling the story. At times, I felt I wanted to know more, to see inside Sheba's thoughts and feelings, and I wanted to see more of Steven's character. I felt he was overshadowed and suppressed as a character by Barbara's perception. We saw him more through her eyes rather than Sheba's. Overall, it was an interesting read, and I would also recommend the movie. I enjoyed both.

So many of the other reviewers have zeroed in on narrator Barbara Covett's singleness and her sexlessness. This is partly because some of Heller's most poignant writing in What Was She Thinking? (Notes on a Scandal) delves into loneliness and longing. I won't repeat the quotes here, but the most-liked one on Goodreads about the \\"drip drip of long-haul, no-end-in-sight solitude\\" is truly striking. I encourage you to read it and then come back here.

I adored this quote when I first encountered it out of context. What a beautiful and non-condescending way to describe modern urban loneliness. However, when I read it within the context of the narrative (which I had been thoroughly enjoying), it felt off. I believe there are people like Sheba who go through most of their adult lives without experiencing long periods of true solitude. But I've always thought that this is just as unhealthy as having too much solitude. How can one develop an inner life, a soul, without regularly withdrawing from the world and courageously facing the abyss?

Yes, Barbara's chronic solitude is involuntary, so she fails to gain its benefits. I understand that. But I don't see her as simply envying Sheba. Instead, I think she sees in Sheba her own equal and opposite in terms of wasted opportunities and stunted development.

It's a subtle distinction, and it depends on seeing Barbara first and foremost not as some single, sexless, elderly \\"incubus,\\" but as a brilliant critic. Because that's what she is. She is more like the thrice-married, alcoholic heckler Joanne from Sondheim and Furth's musical Company: A Musical Comedy than any spinster character I can recall.

In Joanne's big number, the penultimate of the show, she mocks category after category of frivolous women in a sarcastic toast, only to end up in a prolonged moment of self-hate:

\\"Here's to the girls who just watch—
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed, it's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.

Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger—\\"
—\\"The Ladies Who Lunch,\\" Stephen Sondheim

Like Joanne, Barbara is one of those \\"girls who just watch.\\" If the world is a stage, they are its parasitic critics, not its main characters. I'm not even sure they have to be women: society loves to hate male critics just as much. We need our critics—the most brilliant ones like Joanne and Barbara especially—but then we punish them, marginalize them, because we are afraid of the dark truths they see. And the best, most sensitive and reflective of them will internalize that shame deeply.

I think Heller did 85% well by Barbara here, but the book didn't completely work for me. The machinations of the Single White Female/spinster narrative too often overshadowed the more interesting (to me) story of an astute critic who finds herself increasingly at the center of a major news story.

Finally, this is something that could have been the perfect addition to both a Single White Female story and a critic going center stage one, so I'll separate it from the rest of my critique. Towards the end, Sheba discovers the manuscript Barbara is writing (the one we are reading, we are led to believe). I believe that Heller should have switched to the third-person voice as soon as that happened. The location of the manuscript changes and becomes a major plot point (as Barbara takes care to retrieve it from her best friend and hide it before attending to her), so it seems technically flawed that we are still in the first-person voice.

The only time such highly localized flaws are noticeable, of course, is when the creation is as accomplished and remarkable as this one. It is an intelligent, deeply felt, and sharply observed novel of contemporary London and deserves a place in the literary canon.

There are certain individuals in whom one can sense the latent seeds of madness. These seeds have remained dormant simply because the people in question have led relatively comfortable, middle-class lives. They seem to function perfectly well in the world. However, one can easily imagine that, given a malicious parent or a prolonged period of unemployment, their potential for craziness might have been actualized. As Zoe Heller put it in "What Was She Thinking? [Notes on a Scandal]."

Barbara is truly one of the most creepy characters ever written. Seriously, she made me extremely nervous. Poor Sheba.

While I did enjoy this book, oddly enough, I preferred the film version. This rarely occurs to me. I think it might be because I saw the film first, so I already knew the entire story. I could envision having a stronger reaction to the book had I approached it with no prior knowledge.

That is not to say the book isn't good. It is! But perhaps it didn't have the same power because there is nothing quite like seeing two of the greatest actresses of our generation bring these characters to life. I really adored the movie.

Now, here is where I need to issue a SPOILER ALERT. Yes, I am going to discuss the ending.

The ending is very different from that of the movie. I actually prefer the movie version as the book's ending had a bit too much of the creepy factor. Also, there were some other changes in the movie compared to the book. The student is a lot more cunning and nasty in the book version.

I have always liked the character of Sheba, a woman who has some of the worst judgment I have ever witnessed in either books or movies. She makes many mistakes, but honestly, I think the ending in the movie was a bit more realistic than in the book.

Anyway, if you haven't read the book or seen the movie, I would suggest reading the book first, as I kind of wish I had done. Both versions are quite good, though.

Why do we react with raised eyebrows when it comes to relationships between two people with a significant age difference? Why are we so eager to label certain romantic involvements as "exploitative", and can we ever truly determine who is exploiting whom? These are just a few of the questions that are likely to cross your mind while reading Notes on a Scandal.

On the surface, this seems like a straightforward case: a 42-year-old married female teacher engages in a sexual relationship with a 15/16-year-old schoolboy. It is criminal behavior that elicits scorn and condemnation from the media, ruins lives, and tarnishes reputations. However, it is a testament to Heller's writing skills that by the end of the novel, you may find yourself sympathizing with the "criminal" Sheba Hart rather than the "victim" Steven Connolly. After all, the novel implies that Connolly essentially has a rather enjoyable sexual experience and then moves on with his life, while it is Sheba who suffers the consequences. Sheba must endure not only the pangs of lost love but also the pain of a broken marriage, a destroyed reputation, and an impending jail sentence.

The "notes on a scandal" in the title refer to the account of the affair written by Barbara Covett. Barbara is a fellow schoolteacher, a spinster who is incredibly lonely and, apparently, Sheba's most loyal friend. Barbara is the kind of woman - snide, snippy, and self-righteous - whom you would avoid like the plague in real life. However, as a narrator, she is rather delightful company, delving right into the salacious heart of the scandal on behalf of the reader. She is curiously delusional at times but manages to accurately describe the people around her with such precision that you can't help but be impressed. She is wickedly funny and, at other times, heartrending as she confronts the reality of her own crushing loneliness. This, it turns out, is why she is so loyal to Sheba: she needs Sheba to give meaning to her life and will do just about anything to keep her. Sheba gives Barbara this extraordinary power when she tells her about her affair with Connolly, and her confession proves to be something of an incendiary device. Barbara can, depending on her mood, either keep it quiet and safe or light the fuse and stand back.

To be sure, there are some flaws in the novel. The character of Barbara comes dangerously close to being a cliché, and Steven is made to sound rather unappealing. However, these flaws are more like minor annoyances than fatal flaws. This is a compelling and quick read that will draw you in and make you question some of your assumptions. It is a dissection of the dynamics and power struggles in personal and sexual relationships and an examination of how society and individuals respond to sexual scandals. Read and enjoy.

I have to admit that I do, on occasion, take a certain pleasure in reading about scandalous affairs, especially those of the teacher-student variety. However, it's important to note that I approach this with a sense of civility. I simply can't abide by erotica or overly cheesy romance. In fact, I find that I can't stomach anything with poor writing skills. But when a scandalous student-teacher story presents itself in the form of literary fiction, it almost always manages to pique my interest, especially when the teacher is a woman and the student is a boy. And that's precisely what I thought I was getting with "Notes on a Scandal."

At first, the cover of the book didn't appeal to me. It gave off a YA vibe, which made me a bit hesitant. But when I discovered that it had once been a contender for the Booker Prize, my interest skyrocketed. I expected it to be a deep character study or an in-depth exploration of the psychology behind these types of relationships. I even hoped for a comprehensive dissection of the trauma and negative effects that an unbalanced relationship like this can have on the child or teen.

I'm truly fascinated by these situations, both in real life and in literature. The recklessness, the complete abandon, and the lack of self-preservation are all aspects that draw me in. I'm also intrigued by the psychology behind what drives an attraction to someone who, by all reasonable and even biological standards, one shouldn't be attracted to. We all know that in youth, there is a certain archetypal attractiveness, but the psychology behind attraction is far more complex than that. There are reasons why it's more common for a woman to be attracted to an older man rather than a younger one, and these reasons have to do with our intrinsic natures, such as biology, physiology, pheromones, our lizard brains, and millions of years of evolutionary growth. So, when a woman defies all logic and the natural order of things to get involved with a male who lacks all the masculine qualities that women typically seek, such as physical strength, dependability, intelligence, power, stability, and success, it's truly baffling. I want to understand what it is that they're getting from the relationship that they wouldn't get from a grown man. Is it a sense of restoration or rejuvenation of their own youth? Is it a matter of control or domination? Do they feel safer with someone over whom they always have the upper hand? Or is it just a sickness or a perversion? Are these women mentally immature, cognitively impaired, or perhaps even mentally ill?

Unfortunately, I was disappointed with "Notes on a Scandal." Instead of focusing on any of these aspects, the book mainly centered around an outsider, a friend of the teacher, and her reaction to the relationship. The teacher herself was somewhat one-dimensional. At times, she seemed dull and stupid, lacking any real understanding of her own behavior and mostly just acting like a lovesick teenager. It was quite strange, and I didn't really know what to make of her. She did have a few moments where she showed some intelligence and the ability to reflect deeply, but these were few and far between. Mostly, we were focused on her friend, a homely, stern, single older woman who developed a sort of fascination or neediness with the teacher. I found it difficult to understand what motivated the main character. Was she just a lonely spinster who wanted a best friend? Was there some hidden sapphic interest? Did she seek validation in a friendship with someone who was popular and well liked? I never really felt like I fully understood either of the characters. They didn't feel fully developed, and as a result, the book itself didn't feel fully realized. When I finished reading, I felt a sense of wanting more. There was a distinct lack of depth. The writing, however, was above average, and there were a few parts where I felt like the author touched on some recognizable and relatable feelings. But it wasn't enough to elevate this book to a four-star rating. Initially, I thought I might round it up, but upon further reflection, I concluded that I couldn't give it more than a 3. If you're looking for a book about a student-teacher relationship, there are far better options out there. This one was more about a lonely middle-aged woman.

3.25.

This book was penned as a result of a genuine incident that took place in the US, where a teacher engaged in an affair with one of her students.

It presents a dark and yet realistic account of destructive behavior and manipulation.

The story is narrated by Barbara, an older secondary school History teacher, who becomes fixated on a new Art teacher, Sheba Hart. When Barbara discovers that Sheba is having an affair with a student, she positions herself as Sheba's confidant and close friend. However, Barbara is highly manipulative, and their friendship takes a darker turn.

The book is exceptionally well-written. The characters are vividly portrayed, the situation feels palpable, and the way the storyline unfolds is incredibly realistic. It delves deep into the complex emotions and motives of the characters, making it a captivating read that keeps the reader engaged from start to finish.

The story revolves around the friendship between Barbara, a teacher on the verge of retirement, and Sheba, a relatively young (40-year-old) teacher who has recently joined the school. Their friendship is put to the test when Sheba has a sexual affair with a student named Steven. The narrative is presented from Barbara's first-person point of view.

This is not just a plot-driven novel; it is a captivating character study of two very different individuals. Barbara is a spinster whose cynical and embittered world-view stems from a long, lonely life. Sheba, on the other hand, is an attractive person who, in her own words, is "the kind of person people want to do things for." As the saying goes, "Attractive people get the idea that the world is full of polite people." Sheba has a husband, kids, and comes from a wealthy family, so one might wonder what there is for her to be unhappy about.

The novel is superbly written, and I found myself laughing out loud at some of Barbara's observations. The author also delves into why we sometimes do obviously stupid things, such as having an affair, with the necessary depth. I had seen the movie adaptation a long time ago, and the images of Judy Dench as Barbara and Cate Blanchett as Sheba had remained in my mind. I'm not sure if that was a good or bad thing.
After reading "The Lowland," a novel I highly esteem, I had an argument with a Goodreads friend who believed that the protagonist's character hadn't been well-delineated. I didn't quite understand her point at the time, but after reading this novel, I kind of did. I would recommend this book to others.

A good strong 4.5 is an excellent achievement. It represents a high level of performance and proficiency.

When someone scores a 4.5, it indicates that they have a solid understanding of the subject matter and have demonstrated the ability to apply their knowledge effectively.

This score is not easily attained and requires hard work, dedication, and a commitment to learning.

It shows that the individual has put in the effort to study, practice, and improve their skills.

A good strong 4.5 can open up many opportunities, such as access to better educational programs or career advancements.

It is a testament to the person's abilities and potential.

Overall, a 4.5 is something to be proud of and a great accomplishment.

This is indeed a literary page-turner, as described in the cover blurb. Barbara Covett, a lonely high school history teacher on the cusp of retirement and aching for meaningful human connections, fixates on a younger, wealthy art teacher, Sheba Hart. Sheba, a wife and mother with a busy social schedule, becomes sexually involved with a teenage boy at the school, leading to the eponymous scandal.

The story is narrated by Barbara, in an engaging, perceptive, sometimes vicious voice. As is not uncommon for isolated people, especially intelligent ones, Barbara tends to look down on everyone.

As many others have said, this is an excellent novel: intense, insightful, clever, well-written. It could be a good novel for those who are leery of “literary fiction,” because it is also a very readable page-turner. However, it is not a novel for those only interested in reading about moral paragons. It presents its very flawed characters as they are, in all their complexity, not as we might want people to be. And the ambiguous, creepy ending does not tie up all plot threads.

Regarding interpretation, first, many seem to want to read a homoerotic subtext into Barbara’s obsession with her female friends. But to me, this is just an example of modern culture’s tendency to see sex in everything and devalue platonic relationships. There are indications throughout the book that Barbara is heterosexual. For someone as isolated as her, the quest for emotional fulfillment and to be important to someone else is as meaningful as the quest for sexual fulfillment is for others. Sex just doesn’t seem to be high on her list of priorities, perhaps due to more fundamental unmet needs.

Second, the takeaway for many from this book seems to be “sexual abuse isn’t always clear-cut because sometimes the child can be the initiator!” But we must remember that Barbara is an unreliable narrator. Sheba’s sketchy behavior is still evident, like threatening Steven to keep quiet. And more importantly, getting sexually involved with someone across such a power imbalance is wrong and lends itself to abuse, even if the young person seems enthusiastic. Teenagers have crushes and fantasies about teachers, but that isn’t license for adults to act on them. Sheba’s flawed perceptions, perhaps due to her own experiences in her marriage, shouldn’t justify this behavior in readers’ minds.

At any rate, this is definitely a book I recommend, as a work of literary entertainment that lived up to the hype. It didn’t change my life, but it’s absolutely worth the read.

A married female teacher named Sheba Hart engages in an affair with a fifteen-year-old pupil. The story is told by another teacher at the school, an elderly spinster who, interestingly, develops romantic feelings for Sheba herself.

There are indeed many aspects of this story that are likeable. However, I also have two concerns. Firstly, there is a lack of surprise. Once the basic scenario is presented, it becomes rather evident what will occur. I believe the narrator could have been developed in a more nuanced and artistic manner. At times, she is too clear and reliable as a narrator. I would have preferred a narrator who is more adept at self-delusion.

The second misgiving pertains to the characters themselves. I'm not certain why the author chose to make the boy so unappealing. I struggle to understand what his attraction is for Sheba. This, in turn, makes Sheba seem somewhat lacking in depth. The author gives her a son with Down Syndrome and portrays her as a talented sculptress. But instead of adding more authenticity to her character, these two details make her even more puzzling to me. Towards the end, there is a rather clumsy scene where Sheba sculpts a mother and child, using herself and her lover as models, as if she is replacing her real, damaged son with an idealized version. However, this explanation for her actions seems far-fetched and overly complicated.

There is a film adaptation of this book, and I wouldn't be surprised if it presents the boy as much more attractive and omits some of the random details from the book.

Best days of our lives…


When Sheba Hart joins the staff of St George’s school, history teacher Barbara Covett is instantly intrigued. Her fascination with the younger woman quickly borders on obsession. We soon learn that Sheba has her own dangerous obsession - a sexual passion for 15-year-old pupil Steven Connolly. Barbara tells the story, her version at least, and we know from the start that Sheba’s affair has been discovered.


This book is a page-turner, short and tightly written. The narrator, Barbara, is the real star, even though it’s ostensibly Sheba’s story. In the early stages, she describes life at an inner-city school in a not-so-nice area of London. Her insights are humorous and feel authentic, painting a vivid picture of the battles between teachers and pupils, and between teachers and management. Barbara is nearing the end of her career, cynical and with low expectations.


Sheba, on the other hand, is a newbie. Despite approaching middle age, this is her first teaching job. She still believes she can inspire young minds to love art. But her inexperience makes her a target for her teenage pupils, who torment her. This gives Barbara the opportunity to step in as a mentor, but it also leaves Sheba vulnerable to Steven, who shows a mild interest in art and a stronger interest in her. As Sheba gets deeper into this inappropriate relationship, Barbara becomes her only confidante.


I loved Barbara’s twisted character. A lonely single woman with a cat, she seems to have a talent for pushing people away. Is she a lesbian? Maybe, but it’s not clear if she knows it herself. Her obsession with Sheba is bordering on the sexual, and she’s jealous of both Sheba’s husband and lover. But she claims she just wants a friend. Her idea of friendship is extreme, though - she resents anything that takes Sheba’s attention away from her. If she wasn’t so awful, it would be easy to feel sorry for her. But I didn’t.


I have to admit, I didn’t find the other characters as believable. I couldn’t understand what would attract Sheba to Steven. He doesn’t sound particularly appealing, and if she wanted an affair, she could surely have found someone better. Putting that aside, it’s a great portrayal of self-delusion as Sheba convinces herself and tries to convince Barbara that this is love, not just sex. Barbara’s cynicism on this point is spot-on.


Sheba’s family are a bit stereotypical - the unsuspecting husband, the rebellious daughter, the special needs son, and the disapproving mother. They mainly serve to make Sheba’s betrayal seem worse. And on the subject of sin, that’s the book’s other strength. It’s ambiguous - is Steven a victim or a manipulator? We only see him through Barbara’s eyes, so it’s hard to tell. Heller cleverly avoids preaching and leaves us to make our own moral judgments.


Overall, it’s a lighter read than the subject matter might suggest. There’s not a lot of depth or profound insight, but the wonderful character of Barbara makes up for it. I enjoyed listening to the audiobook, especially since the narrator did such a great job of bringing Barbara to life.


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I read this book in early March. After that, I spent the next 10 months struggling to write a review that would do it justice. I was simply intimidated by the task. Today, as it is the last day of the year, I still find myself almost at a loss for words.

Suffice it to say that "What Was She Thinking" is an exquisitely crafted and extremely well-written novel. It cleverly masquerades as a story focused on one woman's public sex scandal, but in reality, it exposes the numerous hypocrisies and stubborn denials of all the other characters. This is especially true of the narrator, who oddly reminded me of the titular character in "Eileen" by Ottessa Moshfegh.

Moreover, this book officially marks the completion of my 2019 reading goal. So, yay for that! :) It has been a remarkable journey through the pages of this novel, and I'm glad to have finally finished it and achieved my reading objective for the year.