This book could've been at least a hundred pages shorter.

Oates' strong suit is short stories, and I hear length is an issue for a lot of her novels. At least, that's what I felt while reading this one.

The chemistry between Felix and Enid is what propelled me through it for the most part. Neither of them is particularly sympathetic, but they're pretty interesting.

The parts with the brother were also engaging. However, the parts with the parents aren't particularly engaging. The father is a pretentious, unhappy bore.

There isn't much of a plot. It's more of an exploration of the characters' lives in a town in the 1950s. That's fine, as long as the characters and what they do are always interesting, which they aren't.

If you're willing to invest the time, there are certainly worse books. But if you're interested in the work of Joyce Carol Oates, you should probably go for a collection of short stories. That way, you can experience her talent for creating vivid characters and powerful stories in a more concise and satisfying way.

I did not like this book at all.

Right from the moment I started reading it, I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be to my taste. I managed to get about half way through the book, but then I just couldn't bring myself to finish it.

As a parent, I found the subject matter extremely hard to read. It dealt with some very sensitive and disturbing topics that made me feel uncomfortable.

I think that the author could have approached these topics in a more sensitive and appropriate way. Maybe if the book had been written in a different style or with more care, I might have been able to enjoy it more.

Overall, I would not recommend this book to anyone. It was a disappointment and I don't think it's worth the time or effort to read.

20th book read in 2025

I am gradually embarking on a pursuit to read all the novels of Joyce Carol Oates in the order of their publication. It is indeed a quest as her detractors are fond of highlighting that she is extremely prolific. You Must Remember This was her 17th novel since her first one, With Shuddering Fall, in 1964. That's seventeen novels in just 23 years. Many thriller and mystery writers release a novel annually, and their fans anticipate it. However, it seems that critics become uneasy when a literary novelist publishes so frequently. But whatever.

You Must Remember This marks her first foray into the world of boxing. She has clearly done her research thoroughly. The novel is set in upstate New York, her home ground and a location she revisits often. This area of the United States has furnished a wealth of material for her dissection of American life. It is set in the 1950s, a decade of the Korean War, the growth in home ownership, the ideal of the happy family, and the prevalence of religion and morality. Oates delves deep into the anxieties that lurked beneath the pieties.

Enid Maria Stevik is the youngest of four children. Each child takes a path of breaking free from the 1950s "middle of the road" era promoted by President Dwight D Eisenhower, much to their parents' distress. Enid maintains a guise of a good girl at home, excels in school, but is secretly having an affair with her father's younger brother, a former professional boxer who now earns his living through real estate, shady deals, and gambling. The two are sexually obsessed with each other, although Felix's obsession borders on abuse. Enid eventually and inevitably gets pregnant during her senior year in high school, endures an abortion, but breaks free of Felix and resolves to follow her true dreams.

The novels of Joyce Carol Oates are never for the faint of heart. She does not shy away from violence, sexual tension, psychological turmoil, or the plight of females. Her stories can give a reader nightmares and often verge on horror. She has always been ahead of her time. I read her because she reveals to me an America that is not captured in the media nor in most popular fiction. She shows an America that is rife with contradictions, dissimulation, and cruelties hidden beneath the fairytales of fulfillment, material success, and outright lies. All the while, she celebrates the human heart in all its complexities.

I truly relished this account of rather ordinary events befalling an ordinary family in an industrial city within New York State during the nineteen fifties.

At least, the ordinary things that occur are of the sort of ugly, sinful nature that are murmured about in church or on doorsteps and always seem to happen to others. And, for me, that is the theme of the book - the way these things transpire right before our very eyes, yet we remain oblivious as we grapple with the daily grind or the existential threats of complete annihilation by communism or nuclear holocaust.

JCO is a virtuoso at transporting us into the world of her characters, never shielding us from the raw physicality of lust and the brutality of depression. Thus, we have in-depth examinations of three individuals: a father and his youngest daughter, whose story arc lies at the heart of the book, and his wealthier younger stepbrother. For me, the father, Lyle Stevick, is the most poignant. Struggling to eke out a living running a second-hand furniture shop, humiliated as a citizen in McCarthy's America and by his waning masculinity, he harbors a toxic jealousy towards his younger brother, Felix, a flamboyant retired boxer who deals in real estate and cruises around town in the latest model cars. He loves his children fiercely but is powerless to protect his son upon his return from Korea, severely injured and then transformed into a pacifist. So, he resolves to dig a bomb-proof shelter as the threat of nuclear annihilation intensifies. And all the while, we are aware that the threat is closer to home as his daughter Enid, an intelligent and seemingly compliant young teenager, willingly "consents" to sex with her uncle. So, we have a nation fixated on communist secrets, UFO conspiracies, and nuclear war, and a family rife with lies and self-deceptions.

Oates has a profound understanding of boxing, and the descriptions of the fights are visceral. She comprehends the act of boxing and its allures, the purity and the hustle, and its epic role in a town with few avenues for escape. Apart from Felix, the other characters all yearn to flee the town in some manner as they witness their ordinary father being ground down by the system. Oates presents the absurdity of their fantasies with kindness, and we end with three of Lyle's children having scattered across the country in pursuit of fame, utopia, or education. Behind their stories looms the specter of war, past, present, and future, and with it the bitter, inescapable taste of fear and death. It is no coincidence that both Lyle and Enid experience serious suicidal inclinations, neither episode ever being confronted. Some truths are simply too painful to contemplate.

Because it is Bitter and Because it is My Heart is one of my favorite books. I have a deep love for stories set in the mid-century, so naturally, I expected to have an intense affection for this one. However, it turns out to be more complicated than that.

I truly admire Joyce Carol Oates’ lyrical prose. Her writing style is so enchanting that it can draw readers into the story effortlessly. And usually, I don't mind the darkness in her works. In this novel, the setting is period perfect. The characters are very well developed, each with their own distinct identities and trajectories.

But the subject matter - incest and the sexual abuse of a young girl - is extremely difficult for me to get through. I had to set the book down and pick it back up again over the course of a few months. It was a real struggle. Nevertheless, ultimately, I'm glad I finished it. Because Warren, Lyle, and Enid, and the different values and mores of mid-century American life that they represent, are indeed worth exploration.

It's a good and ambitious novel. But it's important to note that it contains rather graphic descriptions of incest and sexual exploitation. So, one needs to be prepared and have the ability to handle such content if they decide to read it.

I just could not get into it at all. It seemed as if no matter how hard I tried, I simply couldn't find the interest or the motivation to engage with it. Likely I didn’t give it a chance initially, perhaps due to my preconceived notions or maybe because I was in a rush. But as time went on, and I continued to struggle with it, I finally gave up on it. I felt a sense of relief, yet also a tinge of disappointment. Disappointed in myself for not persevering longer, but also realizing that sometimes, it's okay to let go of things that just don't click. Maybe in the future, I'll look back on this experience and wonder if I could have done things differently. But for now, I'm content with my decision to move on and focus on other things that bring me joy and fulfillment.

If I had read this 30 years ago, I probably would’ve liked it more.

Back then, perhaps I had more patience and a different perspective.

But reading it today, it is so bogged down in details that I could do without.

The pace is extremely slow, which I am sure is a sign of the times.

Maybe for me, with my modern lifestyle and shorter attention span, and for the book itself, which was written in a different era.

It seems that the world has changed so much, and what was once engaging and interesting now feels a bit cumbersome.

Nonetheless, I can still appreciate the effort that went into writing it and try to look beyond its flaws.

After all, every book has its own unique charm, even if it doesn't quite meet our expectations in the present day.

This is a book that truly embodies the style of Joyce Carol Oates.

It presents a collection of interlocking and dysfunctional family stories, with a central focus on the themes of love and lust and how they intricately bind people together, even those who are directly related by blood.

The characterizations in this book are exceptionally strong, bringing the characters to life in a vivid and engaging manner. The story unfolds smoothly, drawing the reader in and keeping them hooked from start to finish. The prose is also easily readable, making it accessible to a wide range of readers.

Interestingly, there is a line in the book that reads, "This is the happiest day of my life!" which is quite humorous. It's even more amusing to note that the author would reuse this line to greater effect in her later work, "Blonde." Overall, this book is a captivating read that offers a unique exploration of family, love, and lust.

A book with song lyrics in the title can be a truly unique and captivating piece of literature. It immediately grabs the reader's attention and piques their curiosity. The use of song lyrics in the title adds an element of familiarity and emotion, as many people have a connection to certain songs. It can also set the tone for the entire book, giving the reader a hint of what to expect.

For example, a book titled "Stairway to Heaven" might lead the reader to expect a story that is filled with mystery, adventure, and a touch of the supernatural. The famous song lyrics by Led Zeppelin are associated with a sense of longing and a journey to a higher place, which could be reflected in the book's plot.

Another example could be a book called "I Will Always Love You." This title, taken from the Whitney Houston song, suggests a story about love and commitment that endures through time. The lyrics evoke feelings of deep affection and loyalty, which would draw readers in who are interested in a romantic and heartwarming tale.

In conclusion, a book with song lyrics in the title has the potential to be a powerful and engaging work of art. It combines the beauty of music with the art of storytelling, creating a unique and memorable reading experience. Whether it's a mystery, romance, or adventure, the use of song lyrics in the title can add an extra layer of depth and emotion to the book.

Bizarrely Captivating

In the world of the extraordinary, there are certain phenomena that are bizarrely captivating. These are the things that catch our attention and hold it, leaving us in a state of wonder and awe.

It could be a strange piece of art that defies all expectations, or a natural wonder that seems almost too奇特 to be real. Maybe it's a story that takes unexpected twists and turns, keeping us on the edge of our seats.

Whatever it is, the bizarrely captivating has a power all its own. It draws us in, makes us think, and leaves a lasting impression. It challenges our perceptions and makes us see the world in a new light.

So the next time you come across something that is bizarrely captivating, don't be afraid to embrace it. Let it take you on a journey of discovery and enjoy the ride.

I don't know precisely why I persistently attempt to read JCO's works. However, I surmise that I continuously think perhaps I'll stumble upon the right book, and then I'll fathom why she is regarded as a great writer.

This particular book failed to meet my expectations. It possesses a rather ethereal essence, adopting a sort of stream-of-consciousness narrative style that might have been effective in a shorter novel, but here it falls flat. It is overly verbose and exaggerated. I read the opening chapters twice because JCO discusses various characters without actually presenting them to the reader. I wonder if we're supposed to instinctively know who they are?

Moreover, the incestuous aspect involving Felix was simply too...icky. I understand that such things occur in real life, but JCO romanticizes it to an excessive extent. Felix was a dreadful character, and Enid wasn't all that great either.

Consequently, I abandoned the book at approximately the first third, as I simply had no interest in it.

Joyce Carol Oates is the ultimate ace up the sleeve when it comes to countering those (guys) who watched "Mad Men" and claim it seemed like such a cool and enjoyable era, saying, "Damn, I wish I could have lived in the 50s/60s. I could have been slapping asses and day drinking regularly!" However, the reality was far from that. Even Don Draper was a pitiful loser, and life for the average family (specifically white families, as minorities had it even worse) was depressingly shitty. Everyone was traumatized and repressed. The depressing city of New York, of course, serves as the perfect backdrop. A sexy uncle starts raping his infatuated niece, and things only go downhill from there. Joyce Carol Oates is an outstanding writer. She has a knack for creating a certain atmosphere. Unfortunately, it's often a repulsive one that makes you feel fortunate to have never experienced it. Nevertheless, she has undeniable talent!

Her works are not for the faint of heart, but they do offer a raw and unfiltered look at the darker side of human nature and society.

Whether you love or hate her writing, you can't deny the impact she has had on the literary world.