This is not a book that I would typically purchase or read.

In fact, I received it as a Christmas gift from my daughter. After looking over the reviews of my friends, I noticed that my more theologically inclined friends did not like the book. I was not at all inclined to like it either because I had despised John Eldridge's Sacred Marriage.

However, I am a woman who mainly lives and interacts with men, and because of that, I believe this book did touch my heart. No one in my life is attempting to force me into some outdated pattern, but it can sometimes be challenging to live with only masculine ideas and masculine ways of viewing the world. In that sense, this book was like a breath of fresh air for me. Stasi is also a mother of boys, and in that, I found a certain sense of kinship. I liked her.

I am not one to seek fairytale endings, so all the references to Cinderella were lost on me. However, the idea that all my longings find their fulfillment in Christ was not lost on me.

Obviously, this book is not for everyone at all times. But at certain times and in certain situations, I think this book is a winner.

I first received this book on my 16th birthday. My friends and I were reading it for a kind of Bible study. However, we abandoned it about one-third of the way through as it seemed to be aimed at adult women. Now, as an adult, I have decided to give it another try.

I recall certain parts that spoke to me during my first attempt. At that time, I had numerous emotional difficulties, including body image problems and general teenage angst. Now, one major issue I have with the book is that it is written as if all women are severely damaged. In some aspects, it can be comforting. Perhaps if I had read more back then, my 16-year-old self might have received some help. But I am also extremely glad that I gave up when I did, 10 years ago. Here are some quotes to demonstrate why:

“To experience the strength of a man is to have him speak on our behalf” (page 129).

“A man’s deepest question is ‘Do I have what it takes?’ A woman’s is ‘Am I lovely?’” (page 140). The ongoing message of the book is that women have a question at the core of their being that needs to be answered affirmatively for them to be okay. This is that question.

“Women pretty much fall into one of three categories: Dominating Woman, Desolate Woman or Arousing Woman” (page 158).

And, of course, the paragraph on page 202 that states women should go through life passively because... get ready... Cinderella’s life changed because her family was invited to the ball, so women should wait for their invitation.

I just had a vivid flashback to the experience of reading this book, and I can't help but express how much I truly loathed it. Oh, man! I really, really hated this book.

I believe I was in college at that time. I was highly motivated, completely focused on my career, and full of determination to make my mark on the world and bring about a positive difference. And then, THIS BOOK appeared. It was filled with sweeping and, quite frankly, insulting generalizations about women. It portrayed women as these fragile, overly romantic beings who were desperately longing and in need of protection. The line that really sticks out in my mind is something along the lines of "ALL women want to be rescued by their knight in shining armor!" But my teenage self, who was going through a SERIOUS Star Trek phase, thought, "Oh, hell no! I want to be out there doing the rescuing myself." Right then and there, I knew that I didn't want to be rescued by a knight. Instead, I wanted to be a co-knight, out there rescuing together with someone.

I think my husband and I (by the way, I got married at 31) do a pretty good job of that. Oh, and rather than spending my single years putting my life on hold and pining for my ONE TRUE LOVE (as these books all seem to assume women are inclined to do unless they are STRIDENTLY warned against it), I pursued and obtained a PhD in my chosen field. Hmmm. It's almost as if women are individuals with diverse wants and needs that simply cannot be easily captured within the confines of a 200-page book.

Not sure how to rate this one.

I think it was almost equally as fascinating as it was confusing, and disturbing. The way some things were worded was definitely over the top, and I just totally didn't agree with them.

Other things I was not at all comfortable with. For one, I think there's a delicate balance between esteeming a woman for what God made her, and exulting her beyond what's right. And a delicate balance between showing God's love and care for men and women are equal, and actually pushing the men down to show good qualities of the women. Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul, might have gone past the good and into the not-so-good in those areas.

But as for actually unveiling a woman's soul, I think they hit that pretty straight on. While other things seemed far-fetched and some a little weird, they described the essence of a woman's soul pretty well I think. We all do long to be princesses, and pursued and protected by a courageous knight.

But overall, it seemed kind of self focused. Looking at and to ourselves more than to God.

Maybe you want to read this book, but do so with a good dose of wariness I guess! I don’t know. If you want to read Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, I would suggest reading it with other Christ-following women. For example, I hope to have my mom read it, and discuss it with her. It's good to understand your feminine nature and discover what God truly designed us as women to be, but we don't want to worship ourselves or anything like that.

Be a woman: feminine, humble, caring… yet knowing she is a child of the King through her Savior's blood, and beautiful in His eyes. And don’t exalt yourself, exalt HIM! For He is the one who created you, loved you with an unconditional love, and put the longing to be feminine in your heart.

It's important to approach such books with a discerning eye. We should take the good that we can find, but also be critical of the parts that don't align with our beliefs. By reading and discussing with others, we can gain a better understanding and grow in our faith.

Overall, while Captivating has its strengths and weaknesses, it can still be a thought-provoking read for those interested in exploring the mystery of a woman's soul. Just remember to keep God at the center and not let our focus shift to ourselves.